Darrin’s College Cooking Batting Order

February 25, 2021

After bits and pieces from a YouTube interview with Tony La Russa made the rounds, Sox Twitter got to discussing the potential White Sox batting order. Some were happy with what could happen, while others were not too pleased.

While there has been some discussion about which characteristics and stats fit which certain spots in the order, this got me thinking…….

….not about baseball. I thought about food, naturally. If I did not think about food, I would not be the Big Homie.

One of the things I have tried to pick up during quarantine is finding new foods to make at home. I have scoured the aisles of Aldi trying to find some new things to whip up back at the apartment. With some of the meals I have learned to cook, added with some old non-cooked favorites, here is my batting order of food at home.

Leadoff: Raisin Bran

Leading off the order is a reliable personal cereal favorite of mine. Raisin Bran has always been reliable for me. The bran and raisins are heavy enough to where you do not have to be extremely careful when pouring in your milk, but they are buoyant enough to where you are not digging through rock trying to get to the bottom of the bowl. The raisins help give taste to the bran flakes, so you are not eating cardboard. Also, it is an optimal food for a big guy like me pretending to eat something healthy. These characteristics make Raisin Bran my leadoff hitter.

2nd: Everything Bagel with Cream Cheese

This is in the same category as Raisin Bran, but just below the reliability of Raisin Bran. The everything bagel is savory from the seasonings, salts, and the cream cheese. It is everything you want from a simple, quick breakfast. However, the occasional unclean breaking apart of the bagel may leave some uneven heating in the toaster. Not quite as reliable as Raisin Bran, but still very good.

3rd: Bacon, Egg, and Cheese on Toast

This is probably my overall favorite thing to make. It is a very filling meal that covers multiple bases. The toast, I prefer wheat, gives you some grain, your eggs and bacon make up your protein, and the cheese gives you some dairy. Cook the bacon first, cook the eggs in the bacon grease, grab your slice of American cheese, put it all together and add a few spritzes of hot sauce and you have got yourself an A+ meal.

Cleanup: Italian Sausage, Eggs, Potatoes, Onions, and Peppers

This is a dish I have picked up over the last few months, and it is certainly a heavy hitter when it is on point. Jalapenos are my choice of pepper. I occasionally run into some rough spots whether it is cooking the eggs in too much oil, or the potatoes not being soft enough, but this meal knocks it out of the park when perfected.

5th: Chicken with Peppers and Onions

Again, this one is in the same category as the previous dish, just not quite as favorited in my personal palate. This is a dish that was in the rotation growing up at home, and I have been trying to recreate it for myself. The only main issue is getting the chicken too dry, but when the chicken is cooked wonderfully this dish is a solid power hitter.

6th: Ham and Turkey Sandwich with Hot Giardiniera

This falls under the reliable category. I prefer to use brown mustard and mayonnaise, as well as either wheat or oat bread. You cannot go wrong with a lunchmeat sandwich.

7th: Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup

This is a classic killer combination. Another easy meal that does not take too long to make. You can make the cheese whatever you want. Havarti is great tasting and melts well.

8th: Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich

This is not the most desired dish, but it will always be able to give you something. You must be able to work out when the perfect time is to eat the bananas. It is a truly healthier meal as well, so it has got that going for it.

9th: Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

To close out the order, I am going with an old reliable classic. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches always leave you satisfied. I prefer strawberry jelly to grape, but both are good.

This is my strung together, Opening Day food lineup. Hopefully, I do not get too many people calling for me to be fired and to bring back Ricky.