HomeBullshitJenny from Forrest Gump SUCKS – Guest Post by Amy Nommensen
Jenny from Forrest Gump SUCKS – Guest Post by Amy Nommensen
June 8, 2020
There’s a lot of turmoil in the world right now, and a lot of division in our country. One thing, I hope, that we can all agree on is that Jenny, from Forrest Gump, SUCKS. Before there was Karen, there was Jenny.
Think about it. We’re first introduced to her when Forrest is getting on the bus, and no one wants him to sit with them. Then there’s Jenny. How sweet…she says he can sit there, in the nicest voice Forrest has ever heard. That is then followed by “are you stupid or something?” You rude little twat.
They became best friends and grew up together, going to different colleges. He always wanted to protect her. He beat the shit out of the guys who were harassing her on stage, along with her scum bag boyfriend after he hit her. Both times, she got mad at him. He wanted her to come back with him to Alabama. She of course said no and got back together with Prince Charming before hopping back on the bus with him, but not before he gave her his Medal of Honor. I’m shocked she didn’t sell it for some coke.
After Forrest’s mom died, Jenny saw that as the perfect time to come back into his life. They were like peas and carrots again. Forrest wanted to marry Jenny, and she said yes! Just kidding, because she’s a bitch and left him after a quick fuck, breaking his heart…again.
Flash forward to about five years, and surprise, Jenny contacts Forrest! She finally realized she loved him and she wants to live happily ever after, right? Nope! Turns out, she finds out she’s dying and decides to tell Forrest that their one night stand resulted in a son, and she only told him because she knew she wouldn’t be around much longer. Why not take advantage of him a little more before she died? He can help take care of her, before she leaves him again, this time for good. Why was he so good to her? Even Jenny wanted to know that. See? Even she knew she was a heartless skank.
The worst part of it? I still cry like a baby when Forrest is talking to Jenny at her grave. “I miss you, Jenny. If there’s anything you need, I won’t be far away.”
“Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” Jenny is like the disgusting raspberry cream chocolate in that box.