Showgirls – A Response. By MSS

Recently our guy BeefLoaf released a blog about how hyped the White Sox are and other things that are were just as hyped and ended up not deserving of that hype. Read that here. Now, he is pretty right on most of his call outs, Pilsen, Krispy Kreme, GNR and Breathe Right strips. While some folks may enjoy those things, they were really over hyped. Are the Sox unjustly over-hyped by some? Sure. But we can talk about that later, the main point here is that ‘Loaf slandered a movie that has no business being slandered. Showgirls. That was wrong.

SHOWGIRLS, Elizabeth Berkley, 1995. (c) United Artists/ Courtesy: Everett Collection.

Listen, no, it’s not a good movie. But was it supposed to be? I contend no. The director Paul Verhoeven was coming off the successful (and very hyped film) Basic Instinct. Now, I guess you can say that Basic Instinct was a good film, but you’d be wrong. It was like “street legal porn” that was easily attainable by, well, everyone. It didn’t have all the aspects of a true porn film, but enough for most underage guys (and girls). Plus the story line was a wee bit better than a true adult feature, eh, just a little. Also, the huge scene with Sharon Stone can create a #MajorRager, but you also have Newman up in that scene, and that really doesn’t help the #MajorRager situation. It’s confusing. Like chess.

I was 18 when Showgirls was released, but I don’t remember it being hyped as a GOOD movie. I remember it being hyped a a movie where Jessie Spano plays a stripper and it was so dirty it needed an NC-17 rating. You know what NC-17 means? It means you can’t be under 17 to see the movie. Rated R you can be with an adult and shit, well, not this movie. So that was the hype, and let me tell you, it lived up to the hype.

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Have you seen Showgirls? No? Well, did you like Saved By The Bell? Ever wonder what AC Slayter was hitting? Well, wonder no longer! It is all there on video, EVERYTHING. Just Google it and you’ll have links to all the good parts. And instead of Newman hanging out, sweating, being fat you have a decent looking dude, Twin Peaks’ Very Own Kyle MacLachlan! And worry not ladies, you get to see Kyle’s booty too!

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Jessie Spano as a stripper / showgirl is everything guys who grew up with Saved By The Bell dreamed about. She goes fully nude in about every scene and well, that isn’t horrible. She is also the anti-hero you wanna cheer for. She takes on sexist assholes and stomps them! She get’s revenge on a friend’s rapist! All these scenes are smashed between copious amounts of nudity just to keep the story “true to life”. You can even make the case for Nomi Malone being a feminist hero, she did what she had to do, and followed her OWN rules. #NomiRocks

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In conclusion, Showgirls 100% lived up to the hype of being a film that showcased Jessie Spano’s assets. To slander this movie is just ignorant. It never claimed to be the next Citizen Kane, it was only supposed to be a indepth look at Jessie Spano in the buff and be a little entertaining. And folks, it accomplished that goal, in spades. So BeefLoaf…..

-MSS

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