The 5 – Why I don’t vote for the All-Star Game

Good day friends, it’s your pal BeefLoaf…….damn, I don’t know how to move to a topic that is likely to get me in White Sox twitter trouble but here goes…..

I DON’T VOTE FOR WHITE SOX (or anyone for that matter) TO GO TO THE ALL-STAR GAME

Phew, that feels better…..I really needed to get that off my chest.  That’s right, I don’t vote for the all-star game.  Why, you ask?  I give you, the 5……

5 – I Don’t Watch

As lots of you do, I watch an absolute fuckton of White Sox baseball, so for me, the All-Star break is a nice little time for me to get away from baseball for a few days and do some other shit.  The All-Star game was lots of fun for me as a kid because you got a chance to see the White Sox lone All-Star, usually Harold Baines, square off against an NL player for his lone (pinch-hitting) plate appearance.  Now with InterLeague play, that novelty is gone and so am I.

4 – It doesn’t fucking matter because bots rule the world

The move to online voting was something that I am sure MLB thought they had to do and some of you reading this are going to be like, yea, voting online is sooooo much better, but hear me out for a second.  Once the voting was put online, without any real verification process (or not a reliable one), you knew voting would go berserk.  Look at some of the fucking results over the years, is this really the best and brightest players lining up a game that is supposed to be a marketing piece for your league, FAHK NAH!  Not to mention the in-stadium paper voting (where you had to punch the little holes) was so much more FUN!! Arguing with your friends over who should make it, and making some insane stand why you would vote in Jack Cust.  These are fun times, these are memories, setting up a script to vote in all the White Sox players is fucking boring.

3 – The players don’t want to fucking be there

The players dgaf about the game.  Sure someone will collect some soundbite from an overzealous outlier that says all they want to do is win, but by the 5th inning the 2nd string is in the game, the real stars of the game are hopping flights to some island to relax for a couple of days and your left with a bunch of middle relievers striking everyone out for the last 4 innings.  That’s boring shit.  We’ve all been to a concert where the headliner clearly is mailing it in, if we could know ahead of time that they dgaf, we’d probably not buy those tickets, right?  With the All-Star game, we do.

2 – I’d rather not vote in a non-deserving player at the risk of someone else’s HOF career

I promise I had this outline written before Tommy Pham had some choice comments about the All-Star game process, but he’s 100% right.  I can’t be involved with some shit like that.  Actually, I can’t figure out why these sorts of things actually matter in said discussions, shouldn’t the arbiter realize it’s some arbitrary bullshit popularity contest?  Shouldn’t HOF voters realize it’s some arbitrary bullshit popularity contest?  Regardless, I’d rather not have a hand in it.

1 – Nobody is really trying to win

The All-Star game could be real fun if the teams played a best of 7 game series, the rosters were chosen by an assigned GM to that league.  Give each team 30 guys, but only 25 active on game day.  And let Google sponsor this shit and give $1M each to all the players on the winning team, and $5M to the GM & Coaching staff to whack up.  Then you’d see real teams battling out in a real situation.  The All-Stars would be more real too, none of this, we need a player from each team bullshit, this would be the team you are trying to win money with.  That’d be fun!!  As currently constituted, like all All-Star games imo, they’d be more compelling if someone played a video game with the assigned rosters and it was televised.