Good day friends, it’s your pal BeefLoaf. Come on in and pour a drink, #108ing is requested. I had an idea awhile back for a FromThe108 Podcast post-game segment where we would workshop rap names for each other, but I just never really thought the segment would make it in that format. After a little more thinking, I thought it would be the perfect time to ask a handful of the smart, creative folks from White Sox twitter to help me out with this concept. Below is what they came up with, enjoy!
Introducing Sleepy Harold (@Sleepy_Harold_)
Group name: I’m picturing this group as being heavily influenced by 90s culture, so the group name is 40 Brews of Phatness (a play on 40oz to Freedom, which isn’t rap, but I don’t care)
MSS: Phallus McPherson, formerly known as Phallic Havoc in his original group, J-Mac and the Power Bottoms. Phallus, long known for his affinity of the adult arts and long rumored to be a bastard child of one Ron Jeremy (although neither will answer any questions about the topic), is the goo that keeps the group together. Without him, the group would just be two brothers mostly playing tummy sticks for their collection of niche hipster fans. He’s the hype man that put the group over the top, similar to a Puff Daddy or Fatman Scoop style influence. Had a loyal base of followers from the J-Mac days that made the new group’s popularity skyrocket with clicks and attention like a new episode of Brazzers House being uploaded on the Hub.
Beefloaf: Professor McRib, M.C., known for slaying McRibs like Snoop Dogg slays blunts, got his big break in the underground scene under his altar ego, Leafy Greenz. His cult-like following of diehards was initially unsure of the name change to Professor McRib, M.C., but welcomed the new moniker after the great Romaine plague of ’04. He abandoned the Leafy Greenz nickname soon after several salmonella laced batches of Romaine infected 42,069 across the continental US because he didn’t want to be associated with that smoke. He made sure he won all his fans back plus several new ones with his sick flow that channels a younger, but significantly sweatier Twista with a dash of Biz Markie mixed in due to the humor that can be detected while on the mic. Some say he was the Kanye of his era, when really, it should be said that Kanye is the Professor McRib of his era.
Chorizy: DJ Don Derelicto, a musical prodigy as a yute but rather subpar in Spanish, is the self-named man behind the music for the group. He was off the grid for an extended period of time in the early to mid-00s due to multiple peyote fueled Arizonan desert “spirit quests” that left hundreds wounded and several more dehydrated, demoralized, and seeking Jesus. Burst back onto the scene and toured across Europe in the late 00s and was hitting his stride, but before a show in Amsterdam he consumed one too many space brownies, magic mushrooms, and strangely enough horse ED pills. This resulted in him ransacking a brothel and getting promptly arrested. Triple D’s musical style is said to be influenced by Grandmaster Flash, Slayer, and believe it or not, Engelbert Humperdinck, among many others. Upon his return and release to the states, he reunited with Professor McRib and they cut a single, “Baderbrau and Bullshit”, which blew up on the Twitters. Oddly enough, it was XVideo’s 6th most popular video due to the graphic nature of the video, which caught the eye of one Phallus McPherson.
The trio then collaborated to make a new single called “Zubaz Lyfe (Here’s the Thing)”.
The rest is history.
Meet Jeff the Giant (@SoxofWhite)
Hey its your #108ing pal Jeff the Giant. I came up with some rapper names as requested
Chorizy (Chris) – Authentic Dog Chorizy Smirk. Chris seems like an honest trustworthy dependable kind of guy, but has that edge to him like he has an inside joke on you but won’t tell.
MSS (Jacob) Mista Smooth J aka Ja Slice – Jacob is kind quiet and easy going. seems like he could slide in beside you and “borrow” one of the beers you set aside for yourself and you’d be happy that he did.
Beef Loaf (Patrick) Verbose Patty P aka P Master – you seem to be in large and in charge of the group. you like the sound of your own voice and believe others should as well.
Here comes Juan Uribe’s Cup (@billywires)
MySoxSummer :Rap name = PAPI GORDOLICIOUS AKA “THE STERLING HUSTLER”
His beats may be heavy but they are timely like a Yonder Alonso single. He is the big daddy of love all day handing out kisses and hugs, mopping up spilled milk and melt downs. Hustling nuggets and gogurts changing diapers and minds. A phenomenal daddy by day and straight carb queen by night hustling goose island and friendship by the pound in the 108 only to get up and go hard again OVER AND OVER DAY AFTER DAY because the GORDOLICOUS has enough STERLING to hustle forever!
Chorizy: rapper name = VIEJO BASTARDO SUCIO AKA ” NITROUS JEDI”
Here’s the thing! V.B.S has done a LOT of living in a short time. He hits life harder than a sex deprived Catholic Nun of the fifties hits a boy who’s handled her crush priest if you know what I mean. This dirty old bastard has partied in bars that makes the Spaceport town of Mos Eisley’s bar in Star Wars look like a fucking Tax Convention’s meet and greet cocktail hour. He’s dirty, he’s a bastard and his rhymes are straight nitrous!
Check out Austin Dzik (@Dzikhead)
MY SOX SUMMER SLAM FT. BAM BAM BIGELOW
Reason: look at a picture of bam bam and then a picture of MSS. Have you ever seen them in the same room?
And Closing the Show, the big homey ChiSoxAnthony (@ChiSoxAnthony27)
Da Loaf. A little history about Da Loaf…
You started out as a D.J. to Wally $. After only a year on the circuit, the rap group known as Wally $ and D.J. Loaf, folded. Wally’s ego, and drinking, got out of control. TMZ made a big deal about it as well. Because Wally couldn’t handle the success, he quit and his last whereabouts are still unknown. Once you went solo, your rap game jumps off the charts. You changed your name to Da Loaf. Some hits include….
-My Vineyards Bigger than Yours.
-John Turturro’s got Nothing on Me.
-La Raza Remix. Yes, Kid Frost came out of retirement, worked with you, and thrilled to have you use his 1990 single. This remix went platinum.
For MSS, he is know as M.C.Shady Sterling. A.K.A. MCSS. A little history….
MCSS never forgets his roots, he continually makes a strong case to remind his listeners where he came from. He’s an Angry Rapper, whose out to prove his point. He represents, by wearing a lot of Sterling Silver chains around his neck to remind his fans of his roots. He has 4 platinum albums…..
-I Know you Bobblin Yo Head
-Ridiculousness of the Wave
-Crazy Life in Tha 61081. Depeche Mode sued MCSS for copyright infringement of this album cover. Because MCSS takes pride in his roots, Sterling Illinois is known as “The Hardware Capital of the World” MCSS album cover of, Crazy Life in Tha 61081 has him with his shirt off, Sterling Silver chains around neck, and using a sledgehammer, breaking up rock. This album cover is Depeche Mode’s 1984 album “Construction Time Again.”
Finally, for Chorizy E. His rapper name is SilverFox. A little history of SilverFox…..
SilverFox has a lot of hair that grayed too quickly. SilverFox is a Horny Rapper focused solely on fucking, as in, fucking anything that walks. His rise to stardom was extremely fast. His fade from glory, sadly, just as fast. After only 2 albums, which both hit Platinum Gold, SilverFox needed to step away because, just like Easy E, SilverFox has contracted full blown AIDS. Though still alive, buying the best medicine while using the money he made from his success, SilverFox has an uphill battle. There are plans for a fundraiser. A new Concert in Bangladesh, with the proceeds going to the SilverFox Fund. Some number 1 hits included….
-De La Salle Days. This track SilverFox raps about the various places he fucked others when at school.
-It’s not your Business, it’s Jizz Business
-The Foot Long (And Then Some)
I hope you all enjoyed this shit as much as I did, look out for more chances to provide fun stuff to the FromThe108 blog on the horizon, but for now, check out the shop and buy some gear