The One Hitter – Ranking The 2017 Giveaways (5 best / 5 Worst)

This World Series huh?  Pretty goddamn entertaining if you ask me.  Are the balls juiced?  I have no idea and not sure if I really care.  What I do know is that everyone on these teams are fucking tired.  I am tired just from watching. Woah. So to entertain you on this night off, I give you……


So the only issue here is that the Sox have really upped their premium ticket game, so alot of sweet giveaways you had to pay extra for.  I am not going to include any giveaway that you couldn’t get at the gate with a regular ticket.  Maybe I will rank the premium items too, let’s see how it goes.  We’ll save the best for last, let’s start with the worst.

The 5 WORST Giveaways from 2017

1. Tim Raines Starting Lineup Figure. Unlike Zubaz, these should have been left in the 90’s.  They suck.



2.  Brookfield Zoo Pass.  I don’t like zoos, I get all depressed at them.  I am sure my kid will one day love them, but right now she is just as entertained with a reusable shopping bag and 4 bottles of water.



3. Photo Book.  Such a weird book, just a team log from 1990 to 1999. Not a fan.

4. (TIE) Magnetic Schedule / Wall Calendar. I get it.  These are helpful, but really one or the other.  I know one guy (James Duda) who would give up one of these in exchange for hard tickets.  And not the box office ones, the ones that the Season Ticket Holders (and Club Level still do) used to get.  In a fancy box.  So save all that paper from the calendar and print James some fucking tickets please.  Please. Pretty Please. Added bonus my wife would love NOT to have this on our fridge for a year.



5. White Sox Stormtrooper Bobblehead. I know, I love bobbleheads, but this bobble is so fucking generic.  I have one cause I have to have one in my collection cause I am a completist, but it’s awful. Why didn’t they use a player?  Why?  Ugh.


The 5 BEST Giveaways from 2017

1.  Hawk Harrelson “Talking” Alarm Clock.  When I write the book of White Sox giveaway history, this will go down as one of the best damn giveaways ever. Why was it so successful?  While it wasn’t all that unique (MKE did one the previous year of Bob Uecker, actually used the same artist and company) but the promotion of it was straight awesome.  And while the Hawk haters are very vocal, there are plenty of us that love him like that fun drunk uncle that tells those PG-13 stories when you are a kid and graduates to NC-17 when you turn 18.  We’ll miss him at least 65% of the time.  This was such a success, much like movie franchises, the Sox are going back to the well to make a Talking Hawk Bobblehead for SoxFest.  The bobblehead better say “You gotta be bleeping me!”, if not it is a failure.  Looking your way Brooks.



2. Hooded Henley.  While 90% of the 108 cannot fit into this, it is still a fucking great giveaway.  They used a local artist to make the design and they used a unique style of shirt. Most people can wear this in public and no one would even know that it was a freebie.  It’s sweet, it’s good quality, a win for the Sox and Sox fans.



3. Los White Sox Soccer Jersey. Listen, if you wanna attract a bunch of new fans to the Sox game, give away a soccer jersey.  Much like soccer, sometimes it takes the Sox awhile to score, if they even score at all.  Baseball and soccer are very similar, but baseball seems more lazy.  Which is why guys like John Kruk and Matt Albers can have careers in this professional sport.    Much like the henley, the 108 would be acquitted for murder cause the shit don’t fit, but it is still a classy giveaway.



4. White Sox Winter Hat. One of the few giveaways that the entire 108 goes early for.  Seems to get alot of use from the 108’ers during the cold weather games.  2016’s was better, but 2017 still is better than most.



5. (TIE) 1917 Jersey / Hooded Sweatshirt. Easily the two most wanted non-clock giveaways.  Why?  Because they are high quality and something that you can wear at the games for years to come.  Simple as that.


Honorable Mention- Mark Buehrle Bobblehead & Pin.

UPDATE – So, the kid is still sleeping so, as far as the special ticket giveaways, here you go! 

The 5 BEST PAID Giveaways from 2017

1. Southpaw Game Of Thrones Bobblehead. How they can promote a show that is as gory and as sexual as GOT at the ballpark and use our cuddly green mascot as a player in the game, is beyond me.  GOT isn’t a family show and it shouldn’t be aimed at kids using Southpaw, BUT I will take kids seeing tits over gore.  Not as bad as Joe Camel mind you, but you know what I am saying.



2.  Jose Abreu Superhero Bobblehead.  Now the 3rd bobble released by the Sox of Jose, at least this one was cool.  I don’t really like the repeats, but I will make an exception for this one.  It’s solid, it’s in the ’83 uni, and he is using the big red bat from back in the days of wiffle ball. Love it.



3. The Beatles / White Sox Hat.  Two things that are classic. The Beatles and the White Sox.  They played 2 shows in 1965 at Comiskey so it makes sense.  It’s a nice dad hat, doesn’t fit my massive dome, but cool all the same.

4. The Grateful Dead T-Shirt . It’s tie dyed! It’s Sox colors! It’s cool as fuck.  You don’t always wanna get stoned in a Moncada shirsey, so this is a perfect solution.  So if you are taking a hit off your vape pen before the game, this is the perfect companion to that type of behavior.  I like the Dead, but no way I could handle any Sox game tripping hard on acid.  Again, I can’t fit in this shirt, but WTF it’s still cool.



5. NIU / Illinois Hat. A yearly favorite for alums from both schools.  Both hats are made well, look sharp and are beloved by the fans.  What I like is that you can rep two teams at once and not look all that weird.  Of course it doesn’t fit me cause my dome is so large, but it looks awesome!


Enjoy the rest of this World Series! It’s been a banger.  Can’t wait to find out why all these dingers keep getting hit, but until then……..SOAK IT UP.  Drink some Baderbrau and brace for the winter folks! We’ll try to get one more soak in before the end of the year.  We’ll see!  We might be too afraid of shrinkage.



Thanks for reading!



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