12 Days of #108Mas: The Top 5 Gifts I Didn’t Get For Christmas

Most Christmas memories from my childhood are all warm and fuzzy, except a few Christmas mornings that I didn’t get something that I really wanted. In the early years it was easy to blame the big guy, Santa. That fat bastard got called a “big stupid head” many a time in my mind. I quickly apologized for calling him such bad names, in hopes that it would help me the following year. But in later years it was just me looking at my parents in a very disappointed way. Here are the top 5 gifts that I snubbed on.

Air Jordan’s

Like EVERY KID my age wanted, I was a huge fan of the Air Jordan’s. I was super bummed when I didn’t get the 1’s that first year. I was also a huge fan of the 4’s, especially the black ones, but alas I never got them. It was always brutal not getting them, and in their place was some bright white pair of bullshit Nike cross-trainers. At least they weren’t Roos.

Fender Stratocaster (Made in Mexico)

This one hurt a lot. I was getting older and asking for things that I really wanted at this point in my life. I was in a shitty cover band, and much like the Jordans, the only thing holding me back from being the best guitar player ever was having a decent guitar. Now, I’d never get a USA made Strat or that Marshall half stack I wanted, but when I asked for a decent electric guitar one Christmas I was given a coat. Yup, a winter coat, green even! I was in college with a sunburst Strat replica Cort guitar that never stayed in tune. But at least I was warm being made fun of for owning a Cort.


A buddy in the neighborhood had a great Lego city in his basement. He and his older brothers had quite the collection and a young MSS was amazed and intrigued. I ran home and asked for Lego sets by the dozens, no doubt. I am sure my folks looked at me, my work ethic and the Lego price and decided that they didn’t wanna go full in on this request. I got the bullshit version Legos…Mega Bloks. When your biggest selling point is it fits with Legos, its a bullshit product. They did get me a castle though, which I for sure built one time and decided that Legos weren’t for me. So while the disappointment was real that morning, in the long run my folks made the right call.

G.I. Joe – Aircraft Carrier

The commercial ran non-stop all October up till 1986 Christmas. I was 9, and 100% in the throws of my G.I. Joe golden years. We were all asking for this. I walked down to the Christmas tree that winter I didn’t get it. Called my buddies later that day, none of them got it either. It was sad. A few years later, I remember being at a neighbors house and he had it in his basement. But the basement was so dirty we couldn’t play down there. I might be the first guy in history to have access to the G.I. Joe Aircraft Carrier and never get to play with it, Motherfucker, still burns.

Lazer Tag

I mean, just watch these commercials….

This strange new sport was fucking awesome. Of course I wanted one. The gun was sweet and it was LAZERS. Only problem? Everyone needed one and if you didn’t get one, you couldn’t have these sweet Mad Max battles. Well, come Christmas, no one got one except one guy, who got 2 so he could give one to his friend. While it was fun and cool, the price point was a little too high for a steel mill town. I never had epic Mad Max battles, but I turned out kinda ok.

And there you have it, the top 5 gifts that I didn’t get. Merry #108Mas.


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