I took a Dollar Tree Pregnancy Test…
Yup. I did. You can buy these at most Dollar Tree stores, a quality place to shop if you ask me. You can even read the reviews here! They even have marijuana tests too!
It’s no secret that #108Day was a huge success. The guys and I were on fire and well, we killed it IMO. Take a listen here and just laugh your ass off. After we had finished the 2nd panel BeefLoaf, who was rather intoxicated, proclaimed “Goddamn we were so good we might have gotten someone pregnant.” I laughed nervously hoping that didn’t include me. Well, it’s been a few weeks and I’m still not sure, so I think I should take a test. SO LET’S FIND OUT…..
I decided to take my test at night, alone, just so I could deal with it before I had to have the talk with my wife about BeefLoaf getting me preggers with his funny jokes. And God, I hope it’s Loaf and not Chorizy. Damn. It could be Josh Nelson or Herb Lawrence. FUCK! White Sox Dave was just as close as ‘Loaf, doubt it was Tanne. Man, I feel like a whore.
Let’s get to this test! One thing about a $1 preganacy test is that you don’t get a cup to piss in. LUCKILY I had a couple extra dixie cups hanging out in the house so I took a wizz in one of those and I filled it halfway.
If putting your own piss in a cup isn’t gross enough, they give you an eye dropper and have you place 3 drops of your piss into the test hole. It’s a wonder I didn’t get piss all over my hands.
Now while reading the back of the test, it says to wait 3 minutes for your results. It also says don’t read the results after 5 minutes. So there are 2 minutes that this test is accurate. Now, for $1, that seems ok. But don’t fuck around after you drop that piss in the test, you only have 5 minutes.
I set a 3 minute timer on my phone and just waited. My alarm went off….THE MOMENT OF TRUTH…
I am 100% not preggers by anyone from #108Day. Such a relief TBH. I’d don’t wanna co-parent with any of those assholes.
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