108 Morton is a lazy fucking bum

Happy Day frents! It’s not often that the BeefLoaf comes out here airing family business. I’m a guy who will occasionally share the spoils of Bonita Steakie’s accomplishments or Mrs. BeefLoaf’s accomplishments, but for the most part I keep my family stuff tight to the vest, unless of course we are clowning….which I guess we often are, but not this time. Not now. I’m worried about Morton.

That’s my worried, if not, a little drunk face. Anywho, Morton, he’s just fucking sleeping

and Sleeping

And when he’s not sleeping, he’s running game on me, going outside, pretending to take care of business and then getting me to give him a treat. It only really works about 25% of the time now, I got wise. But when he’s done foolin’ the old man….you guessed it. SLEEPING!!

I’m not the kind of father that would push my children into whatever passions are mine only. I’m not the kind of father who takes an approach other than that of being supportive. But this is getting fucking ridiculous.

Morton is 4 years old in dog years, which I am told is 28 years old in human years. Imagine sleeping 22 hours a day when you are 28? Most of us were out there accomplishing things and having the time of our lives at 28. I’m starting to get a little worried that Uncle MySoxSummer has been providing him with some 5MG’s and he’s just zoning the fuck out.

It’s fucking sad. In fact, the other day, I heard Mrs. BeefLoaf yelling at him “YOU ARE CARLOS RODONING YOUR LIFE AWAY!!” I’m out of ideas. I need yous (this is Bridgeport) of White Sox twitter to help me get a fire lit under his curly cue tailed ass and get him back on the bark. It’s a matter of life or death!!

-BeefLoaf