The 5 – Daniel Palka Defense

The White Sox have tons and tons of holes, and truth be told, it is too much of a burden for the front office and coaching staff to handle on their own.  This is where we “the fans” come in.  Our suggestions or even solutions could make the difference between actual real life wins.  I had heard, via Twitter dot com, that DBo (Daryl Boston) had been working extensively with Daniel Palka in the outfield to get him more reps and refine his technique.  This is exactly the type of route that “coaching staffs” always go, the route of boring, straight-line, safe thinking that will make it look like they are implementing real change.  Look, for a big change, like making Daniel Palka into the type of outfielder that won’t induce dry-heaving from your pitching staff every time a fly ball is swatted his way, you need to think outside the box, you need ideas that are unconventional, but have a substantial upside.  You need, THE 5, from your friends at the 108.
5 – Super Big Glove
From what I can tell, Mr. Palka has a normal sized glove, and that’s all well and good for the regular ass outfielder, who has regular ass range, and a regular ass ability to judge fly balls.  The early returns on Daniel Palka’s outfield defense is that he is none of those.  One thing we do know, is this guy has a big strong frame.  His calves could intimidate Mark Pryor’s calves, so you know a Super Big Glove wouldn’t bother him one bit.  The last time this was tried in MLB was with Yasiel Puig back when he was coming up with the Dodgers, but it didn’t take.  Daniel Palka seems like a better test case for this.
4. Camouflage Trayce Thompson out there as a 4th OF
I know Trayce is likely to be DFA’d when Avi Garcia comes back, but this is going to be a covert operation and we don’t even want people to know he’s out there, so it doesn’t really matter.  Trayce will likely need to wear the sort of garb that will allow him blend right in with the grass, the outfield wall, possibly even those scoreboards that sometimes line the lower sections of the outfield.
3 . When you shift, let him play where the ball won’t be hit
The first two suggestions were ones that I think we could get by Ricky Rents, but this one might be a problem.  Ricky is “OLD SCHOOL” or something like that, so it might be tough to have this one tried.  One way to cut down on his issues is when you shift, just switch him to the spot least likely to see the ball.  You know how teams shift a Left handed hitter, to the right and leave the 3b back on the other side, just to catch a throw to 2nd occasionally.  This is where you put Daniel Palka.  In fact you can shift him all around the field, Steve Lyons style to try and reduce the amount of plays he’s forced to make.  It’ll be like having a 2nd DH.
2. Hoverboard
The Hoverboard is a terrible invention.  I really see no use for it….other than this….now, I don’t want Daniel Palka controlling the hoverboard, because he already has issues tracking fly balls, so much like the 2004 Red Sox did with Manny Ramirez using a hoverboard and Dave Roberts on the bench controlling it, the White Sox are going to need a bench confidant to control the board.  I think the most likely candidates are probably James Shields or Omar Narvaez.
1. Different spectacle options
It is very possible that the dude just can’t see fly balls too good and that’s why he’s having problems.  I remember how much of a difference some good specs made to the young fire baller Ricky Vaughn, why not to our young masher Daniel Palka?
These are just ideas, but they could be BIG ideas that actually help a contending club at some point figure out that teeny, tiny bit of edge they need to eek out an extra win in a pennant race.  Just think, that idea could come from you.  Hit me up on the twitters with any suggestions you haz.
– BeefLoaf

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