HI……I’M BEEFLOAF and I WANT YOUR FAVORITE PROSPECT TO BE BLOCKED from joining the WHITE SOX!
Haha fuckers!! What do you think of that? Think I’m trolling? Think I am pulling a KenWo on your candy asses (he says “candy ass”, right?).
No, that’s not it at all. I feel it is time to level with yous guys and gals. A bunch of you, MOST of you, are getting way too used to REBUILDING LIFE. Yep, Rebuilding Life, it’s low stress, you can dream on *Insert Long Shot prospect that went to your high school* and talk about how IN THE FUTURE, the White Sox will have SUSTAINED SUCCESS. Yea, I know you CLAIM you want the White Sox to win, but then you want a fucking unlimited try out for *Insert your favorite prospect here*, otherwise, EVERYONE IS GIVING UP ON HIM!!!! Why don’t we just use *Insert your second favorite prospect here* and see what that kid can do? You know why? Because we want to FUCKING WIN!!! I want yous to grow up.
FUCK THAT! I need yous to grow up, right this minute. When it comes time for the White Sox to win (which I sure as fuck hope is this season), they are going to need to fill this team with good players. Do you know what good players look like? I’m not sure you do. I think it is probably time for you to look at some other games so you can see what a good team looks like. We can’t hold a spot for *Insert your third favorite prospect here* just because you liked him coming out of *Insert prestigious college baseball program* or because, he had a good hitting record in AAA with the fucking super ball. Get over yourselves!!!
I WANT the White Sox to go out into the market and buy up as many good players as it takes to WIN!!! I don’t care if it blocks or displaces *Famous former fan favorite that might have a direct tie to this blog*.
These are the costs of winning. Unlimited try outs are OVA! So suck it up, like Linda Lovelace *or insert a more modern person of that profession that MySoxSummer might mention on our podcast* and let’s get on with the WINNING!