It’s your bobblehead guy MSS and I’m here to ask the White Sox to honor a local hero. Last week we had the 2024 Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest CHAMPION on the podcast. He’s a southsider and a White Sox fan! Folks, we really need this guy to be honored on the southside with his own bobblehead. I need a Patrick “Deep Dish” Bertoletti bobblehead on my shelf.
If you didn’t watch the podcast last week, go fuck yourself! But I got you covered. Watch the best interview we’ve ever done.
Now that you are caught up, how awesome is that guy? And clearly, you understand why the bobblehead is necessary? Right? The guy did something, he went out and won the mustard belt on OUR holiday! Had he not been there, the belt could be in Australia. That would be awful. Here’s why this needs to happen next year..
He’s a Southsider.
He went to Morgan Park Academy. He’s even a notable alumni. He’s been photographed with 2005 World Series Champions AJ and The Big Hurt.
He Ate Every Food Item at Sox Park.
After he crushed the ice cream helmet sundae, he walked around the park and ate EVERYTHING.
Current Player Pool Is Slim (And Could Get Slimmer)
Let’s be real, aside from maybe a Garrett Crochet AS Bobblehead, we don’t have much talent to draw from. Now add in the possibility that he (along with others) could be traded before next season, it makes it an even better idea. Do we really wanna get reminded about our former AS that is crushing it with the Yankees? No, no we don’t.
Plus my idea for a bobblehead is pretty frickin’ sweet. Really frickin’ sweet.
It’s a beaut right?
Patrick has said he wants a sandwich named after him, that’s so blase. Having a bobblehead of yourself, released by a professional sports team is pretty amazing. Even better than a MiLB, even though this Brooklyn Cyclones one of Joey Chestnut is fucking tits.
Plus my goofy ass might get a sausage named after ME at Sox Park this year due to my investigation.
So please, White Sox marketing department, make a bobblehead for Patrick. He’s earned it in his nearly 2 decades-long career in competitive eating. Plus he seems like a nice guy. Thanks and God Bless America.
-MSS
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