I’m BeefLoaf and I approve this message.
The last five weeks of existing as a White Sox fan has basically been a series of discussing, hypothesizing, theorizing, framing, picturing, dreading and fantasizing what the return from an inevitable Garrett Crochet trade will look like. We aren’t immune to such acts either. Chorizy and I engaged in this fucking disgusting behavior, not ONCE, not TWICE, not THRICE, but FRYCE!!
I’m here to tell you now, it’s MEANINGLESS!!
It’s a Public Auction
Big, widely marketed trades like this one here with Garrett Crochet are basically like public auctions. There’s a ton of bidders and that tends to formulate a competitive market for the price. Which mostly means that the White Sox will get an expected value of somewhere between 90% and 110% of what he is worth. It’s boring, I know.
For all you Getz Bots out there, which is basically just KenWo, he’s not going to fleece any of the other fucking GM’s. These prices won’t be perfectly visible, but these gossipers (front office employees) let out enough fucking info. That’s going to guarantee nobody will go too far over the next one to win the prize.
And for those of you that believe Getz will GET FLEECED!!!
Even if he is a pronounced dumbo the other GM’s won’t collude against him. Why would one big swinging dick GM (from, let’s say Dodgers) allow the other big swinging dick GM (from, let’s say the Orioles) get a deal on the price. FUCK THAT, THEY WON’T! They’ll keep bidding up the price little by little until you basically have full value. Do you understand? I didn’t think so, but that’s what will happen.
Now, Getz could get distracted by a shiny new toy (that represents the lower 90% bound). Or his charming nature that lured in Will Venable could take hold and maybe he gets a little sumthin’ sumthin extra (that represents the upper 110% bound). But for the most part he’s going to get roughly market value (whatever the fuck that is) no matter what shape it takes from what team.
Now mind you, I’m not guaranteeing that the realized value from the trade will be that tight, because life is life and outcomes are nonlinear ($1 Rick Hahn) but you can bank on it being a fair deal in both directions. Even if Crochet ends up shoving and these prospects flame out or conversely if Crochet gets hurt and the Sox mine 3 major league players out of this. Capisce!?!?
One Trade Does Not Make a Team
Think of the most fucking lopsided trade in the history of baseball trades. It was a pretty sweet deal for the team on the winning side right? Then think about how many other fucking miracles it took for you to even think about that trade, because for a team to be good they need, what do you call it?….oh yea….A LOT OF FUCKING GOOD PLAYERS! This trade will probably provide a future big leaguer or two but it’s not THE MOST IMPORTANT FUCKING THING THE WHITE SOX WILL EVER DO like the dopey normie media goofs would say, if they didn’t renounce their fandom or the dopey bloggers and podcasters will tell you (present company included).
It’s a chance to add a couple decent prospects that will be younger than Garrett and that’s a good idea because pitchers get hurt and Garrett will be gone by the time this team is likely good again. It’s strategic. That’s it. So unless you got a time machine and $100,000 (or roughly 1 bitcoin), this trade is probably pretty MEANINGLESS in the grand scheme of things for the White Sox.
There you have it. Don’t sweat the Crochet return. You probably won’t even be able to pronounce the names of all the players coming back. Just focus on the upcoming holiday and how all your family and friends have disappointed you.
-BeefLoaf
