The One Hitter – Yoan Moncada is a Free Agent in November 2023

This is the One Hitter, don’t forget to exhale.

Good day friends, it’s your pal BeefLoaf and after a good #108ing sesh last night and some sushi, I wake up this morning brimming with enthusiasm….ENTHUSIASM!?!?!  That’s right, our fucking Bears play tomorrow and they are going to skull fuck the Eagles, but that’s not why you called.  You come here to talk about Baseball and Bullshit, so I’ll, as they say “move it along”.

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In between all of the crazy ass rumors about MacHarper and their expected contract offers and such, we have a budding divide growing amongst large pools of WhiteSox fans, with the 108ers sort of sitting right in the middle.  Group 1 continually points out that the White Sox are behind in their rebuilding efforts based on a myriad of factors, some they can control and some they undoubtedly can’t.  This group believes that because some of the top talent acquired in the Sale and Eaton trades were major league ready that the timeline for the rebuild should be truncated when compared to other “tear it down to the studs rebuilds” like the Cubs and Astros.  Group 2 are the “be patient with the rebuild” folks.  They think that because the majority of the minor league talent that has been accumulated (in numbers) is still floating around in affiliated ball that everyone should hold their fucking horses on when the White Sox should actually be good.

I must admit, I see both group’s points and I sympathize with both.  However, I’m a full season ticket holder and I plan to be in 5 years regardless of which of these groups is correct or not.  I’m a bad example.  Regardless, something is obviously true.

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Yoan Moncada will be a free agent in November 2023 (so will Reynaldo Lopez and Lucas Giolito).  Assuming nothing changes between now and then, the first big GET of the rebuild will be taking offers from other teams after the 2023 season.  Now, one player does not a team make, but if you’ve been going goo-goo and gah-gah about MacHarper rumors then you understand what a big difference superstars make.  Just something for you to keep in mind no matter which group you are in when thinking about “competitive windows” and shit.

-BeefLoaf

The Last Great Trade Chip of the #WhiteSox Rebuild

Good day friends, it’s your old pal BeefLoaf coming at you with my first offering of 2019.  I hope you and yours had a fun / safe NYE and now are ready to tackle 2019 like it’s some prick at a midnight Toys’R’Us sale with the last “Tickle Me Elmo”….that’s right, fuck that guy!

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Anywho, enough of that shit, I want to talk some White Sox and who I consider the last great trade chip of the rebuild.  Before we get there though, what brought this about was a little excel file I was making just tracking team control for some of our young and talented (hopefully) players that are both in Chicago right now and ones who aren’t quite here yet.  I tried to outline who the core of the next great future White Sox team is.  If you are with the “be patient with the Rebuild” folks, than this is probably an exercise you know well.  Or not.  Regardless, the exercise is harder than you might think, the guys who are in Chicago don’t exactly look like a strong core yet, in fact I don’t know if any of them would qualify, as lots of additional improvement is needed.  The one thing that did stick out to me was that in 2022, a couple guys you know and love will become free agents.  AND SO IT STARTS…..

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Yolmer Sanchez reaches Free Agency in 2022, so that leaves him 2019, 2020 and 2021 in Chicago, should the White Sox continue to retain him through arbitration raises and avoiding the urge to trade him.  Truth be told, when I saw the A’s trade for Jurickson Profar to play 2b for them this off-season, I immediately thought the White Sox probably could’ve turned Yolmer into the package that Profar was able to return.  Profar is clearly the better offensive player, but Yolmer is more durable and is a good defender.  To this point, Yolmer is still here and he’ll probably play okay, but other than this comparable situation, I haven’t really been thinking about Yolmer Sanchez nor am I really thinking about him here.  NO!  My focus is another young player that we’ve been waiting on to reach his massive upside, another player that becomes a free agent before the 2022 season.

Carlos Rodon

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It’s no secret that Rodon is the 900 lb Gorilla in the room when it comes to this rebuild.

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He hasn’t been good enough to really trade for something substantial and with the rebuild taking a step or half step back, it’s going to be very difficult for his team control to line up well with the rest of the core.  In theory you could TRY and extend him, but there is someone out there that probably won’t allow this to occur.

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You see, Carlos was a top 3 pick and has a great pedigree, but every time he gets a little momentum going, he either has an injury, control problems or suspect help behind the plate that causes inconsistency.  With a career ERA of 4.01, and an ERA+ of 102, he’s smack dab right there as a league average pitcher (his FIP trails slightly at 4.29, but it’s within shouting distance of his ERA to lead you to believe that his performance today is pretty much on par with the underlying peripherals).  There is nothing wrong with league average pitchers, its just that they don’t generate that much in trade value, especially when you have to pay closer and closer to fair value for them.  Carlos’ first arbitration season is 2019, so he’ll finally earn more than the league minimum by a fair amount (per MLB Trade Rumors he’s expected to net approximately $3.7M).

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Chorizy and I talked about his potential trade value right now.  I believe the White Sox and the larger trade market would like to see a full, healthy, above-average season out of the southpaw before they are willing to provide adequate value for him.  Chorizy on the other hand doesn’t think the White Sox would have to take that much of a discount on the deal that the Seattle Mariners received for James Paxton.  In my mind, that is too substantial a haul for Rodon right now, as I sit here sipping some Turley wine at my island in the kitchen.  However, I believe a 3.5 fWAR (in laymen’s terms basically a #2 starter or the White Sox defacto ace) or above season by Rodon would land him right smack dab in the middle of the sweet spot for maximizing his trade value.  He’d have 2 years of control heading into the 2020 season (just like Paxton did heading into this season), but he’d be 3 years younger (27, instead of Paxton’s 30).  Rodon also has a couple of other things going for him, errr, going for the White Sox that will allow them to trade him more easily.  This is not a pretty list.

  1. The White Sox have previously painted him as “lazy”, often blaming his injuries on conditioning or just an utter lack of exercising at all.  Leaving it easily interpreted by the common fan that he needs to “get more serious about taking care of his body”.  We here at the 108 resemble that remark.

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  1. The White Sox gave him Omar Narvaez as a battery mate last year and will likely give him one of their two current “bad framing, poor mostly everything to do with catching”, catchers, so as not to do him any favors at all when he is battling out there.  In other words, they’ve gone out of their way to make his job harder and to help along these inconsistencies that we are pointing out in the text above.

MLB: Minnesota Twins at Chicago White Sox

  1. The construction of the White Sox team means that they’ll likely press him to pitch as many innings as possible, he won’t get the cush treatment that some starters get today, shortening up their outings to be more effective.  That’s tough to do when your bullpen is highly unproven and the rest of your starting staff is meh at best.  There will be a lot of stretched innings for ole Carlos.  No preferential treatment like other squads are doing to tighten up their top starters’ stat lines…no, no, he’ll be forced to stick it out like Clark Griswold’s family on Christmas Eve.

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If he somehow overcomes all of this shit to be the blue chip starter we have all dreamed of, maybe, just maybe the White Sox will turn him into the last great trade chip of the rebuild.  The last influx of young talent via trade that will create the future core.  And because of these obstacles, we won’t have the chubby we had for Chris Sale or Jose Quintana before they left.  We won’t have that sad feeling when he’s traded, we’ll have the feeling of a closer, and closers get coffee.

-BeefLoaf

#WhiteSox Poll Thoughts!?!

Good evening frenz, it’s your pal BeefLoaf.  I was just laying on the couch crushing Rolo’s when I figured I would hoist my ever bulging physique and knock out a little quickie for you.  I run > 90% of the 108 polls that you see obnoxiously retweeted into your feed, so I figured it might be worth getting into what I actually think when coming up with a poll for 108.

Before we get to the poll in question, a couple of general thoughts…when I’m putting together a poll I am usually trying to answer a question that either I have, or that I see bubbling up in the White Sox Twitterverse.  Sometimes, I am looking for what the group opinion is on something to determine how that syncs up with my own opinion or Chorizy’s or MSS’s.  Occasionally I just see an opportunity for lunacy and figure “Why Not??”  Let’s see what the fine folks of White Sox twitter come up with.  You rarely disappoint.  Now, on to this morning’s poll.

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In the most recent FromThe108 Podcast, we had segments on two guys who we believe the fan base tends to overvalue, Adam Engel (my belief) and Carson Fulmer (the subject of a Facebook argument involving MySoxSummer), so I wanted to see if what we were experiencing was really happening out there and if it was, then we could direct those folks to the new podcast and possibly find out why they be thinking things that is so far off what we believe.  I tossed in Gio because, for fucks sake he was horrible last year and desperately needs to improve.  He really has a lot of runway to get better.  As with all twitter polls, if you are asking a question with a wide band like this, you need to add an “Other” selection because Twitter only lets you get down with 4….thems the grits.

Let’s dig in on what I learned from the results.

Adam Engel 8%

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Well it was my segment in the podcast that brought up #EngelTruthers either all them mufuckaz were on vacation from twitter today, or they don’t believe old Adam needs to improve that much…..OR, I’m fucking delusional and there aren’t that many people that love Adam Engel.  I’d say it is probably the latter, sorry for that segment, I’m sure if you already have watched Adam Engel suck for the last 2 years you didn’t need to hear me read off how he is in the bottom 10% of centerfielders in basically all offensive categories.

Lucas Giolito 70%

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My guy Jordan Lazowski has been the most bullish motherfucker I know of about Gio.  I thought he was nuts and truth be told, I was pretty sure it was a gigantic troll job.  I mean, the kid sounds like he has a real major and he at least pretends to attend Notre Dame, so he can’t be that much of a dumbass.  Low and behold, if it was a bit, he’s going to have to search for a new one.  I didn’t realize this many folks were banking on Gio taking a big step.  I didn’t realize those 7 starts back in 2017 would create such an indelible bond.  Just like that summer fling you once had that still gives you tight pants all these years later, Gio is burned into White Sox twitters consciousness.

Carson Fulmer 9%

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Again, our segments are fucked.  Chorizy even did like 10 minutes on pitch selection that I sort of zoned out on as I watched “highlight films” of Jmac performing with future type 2 diabetics.  Anywho, even though it is bad for his health, I think Chorizy and I still want MySoxSummer hanging out at Facebook to bring these gems along because even if the twitter folks aren’t into it, it still entertains us.

 

Other 13% 

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A huge chunk of this 13% was voting for Yoan Moncada, even some folks who are very bright and who’s opinion I respect on baseball and other stuff, but if I am being honest with myself, picking Moncada for this spot is a Basic Bitch pick.  I hope all of you enjoyed your fucking Pumpkin Spice Latte’s while you punched this one in.

So there you have it a little inside look into what these polls are for and how we view them.  Now Imma go back and eat the rest of these Rolo.

-BeefLoaf

1 Person I Would Have Talked About If We Did A Podcast This Week – Carson Fulmer

As you guys know, hopefully, we started a podcast a few months ago. It’s good shit especially if you read this blog and enjoy our musings on Twitter. Due to life we decided that this week we would take a break as Loaf was vacationing in Texas and Chorizy was in Vegas hanging with Daniel Palka. So I decided to write a quick blog on 1 of the things I would have talked about on this week’s pod. I am listening to Enter The Wu-Tang 36 Chambers as I type, feel free to do the same.

I was rolling around in the White Sox Premium group on the Facebook. I engaged in a lengthy conversation with one of the admins about our former starting pitcher Carson Fulmer. The question was raised if he could be a valuable guy in short relief / set up situations. I responded with what Chorizy has stated to me several times in the tub, “If he isn’t good to start, why would he be good later?” Well, let me tell you, the admin didn’t agree with my statement at all. He responded very quickly with –

Ridiculous. There’s a long list of failed starters that became excellent releivers.

So, the examples named by this guy were as follows –

How about Lee Smith? Dennis Eckersley? Mariano Rivera?
All failed at starting at some point and converted to relief pitching. This isn’t new.

I am a student of internet arguing so I did some quick research and what really stood out to me was the mention of Dennis Eckersley. My baseball knowledge isn’t all that awesome, so upon a quick search I learned that Eck had a 20 win season as a starting pitcher. Hardly a failure in my eyes. At the very least he had some success as a starting pitcher right?

Lee Smith barely was even considered a starter as he only started 6 games in 18 years. Mariano Rivera never really started in the MLB past his first year either. But his numbers were better than Carson in his 10 games started. Plus, both guys, in my eyes are complete exceptions to the rule as both guys are HOF’ers. Tom Gordon was brought up by another guy in the thread, but again, he had major league success as a staring pitcher. So much he was named ROY and won 17 games in his rookie season. Hardly failed.

I thought this was pretty sufficient proof that the guys he mentioned weren’t the best examples to be used to make a point, but nah, he said I was wrong. My point was “failed”. He still claimed that the guys above were failed starting pitchers.

I stated to him what I wrote above (exceptions) he said they were NOT exceptions, and there are many more. He even said that Fulmer wasn’t really a starting pitcher in college and that the Sox made him do it. Hmmm, that didn’t add up either so I Googled it up and found out that in his sophomore season he was moved to a starting pitcher pretty early in the season. He pitched 28 scoreless innings as a starter! he was 7 -1 in his sophomore year at Vandy with a 1.98 ERA. Junior year he was 14-2, with a 1.83 ERA. Then he was drafted by the Sox in the 1st round of the 2015 draft. Well, we know how well he has done in the majors 5-7, 6.68 ERA. 67.1 innings pitched.

So, again, no he wasn’t really a reliever in college (not anything of note anyways), he found success as a starting pitcher and the Sox took a gamble on him. Well, my guy said that his sample size is too small to make a decision if he can be a MLB reliever. And he could be right. But how many more games do we need to lose before we realize that he might not have the stuff to make it in the MLB? I would think that last year he would have been called up had he shown anything of value as our bullpen was a dumpster fire. But that wasn’t good enough either, my guy linked me to an article that shows the top 10 failed starting pitchers that became great relievers. You ready for this?

Pretty sure I pissed this guy off at a White Sox / Cubs Spring Training game while he was selling and signing stuff as I smoked right by him. He also had pictures that clearly he or his agent had taken to a Walmart and scanned them on the “print your own scanner”. The MLB hologram wasn’t a hologram, it was flat as fuck. Ha.

Rollie Fingers (HOF’er). John Franco (Never started a game in the MLB). Goose Gossage (Had 26 saves in 1975, Sox tried to make him a starter, didn’t work). Roberto Hernandez (Was barely a MLB starter). Jason Isringhausen (Failed Starting Pitcher). Jose Mesa (Failed Starting Pitcher). Joe Nathan (was still over .500 in his starting pitching years in MLB, went to the minors and was brought back as a reliever. I guess he was a failure?). Mariano Rivera (See Above). Francisco Rodriguez (The article states he started in his 1st 3 professional seasons, but he never played in the MLB as a starting pitcher. Failed I guess?) Lee Smith (See Above).

Ok, right now you are confusing this with a blog from Chorizy or ‘Loaf, but I assure you they didn’t write this. And if you are listening at home, 36 Chambers just finished so I have moved on to Wu-Tang Forever.

At this point in the conversation, I am kinda floored that a guy who seems pretty knowledgeable about baseball doesn’t really see the other side on Fulmer and how it would be crazy to say that he could be the next Mariano Rivera (which I don’t think he thinks that will be his path, but he used him as an example TWICE).

He did question my use of calling these guys exceptions which to most I would think they are clearly are. This is not the norm. I am sure there are tons of guys who have made the adjustment but I would be willing to bet 8 times as many of them haven’t. It’s baseball. Failure is part of the game. A big part. He said that didn’t prove much as tons of people fail. WTF?

Folks, according to a guy on White Sox Premium, Carson Fulmer has it in him to become a quality reliever. I, personally, don’t see it and I don’t think the Sox do either. But they will let him try it plenty I am sure. Carson is a great guy and awesome with anyone that comes into contact with him. I get it, I know why people would stand up for him and say he can do anything. But in my limited time seeing him pitch, I just don’t see this happening. I hope he comes back hard and can finally get control of his pitches to make it in any capacity as a MLB pitcher. Might happen with us, might happen with another team.

Also, I will glady eat all my words if he becomes a HOF Reliever. It will be a joy watching him and Zack Collins as the dynamic duo that will win us championships, set records and all that shit HOF’ers do.

Got a legit beef with me? Tweet at me. Think this is great? Share with your friends. Hate it? Tweet at me. I’ll gladly defend my position. Hope ya had a great holiday and many special thanks to everyone that showed up at our event on Dec 21st. We had a great time and will be doing plenty more in 2019. If you didn’t show, hit the next one! You miss that one though, and you don’t live in Canada, fuck you.

-MSS

 

Why the WhiteSox Should buy the Free Agents you HATE!

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Good day #WhiteSox fans it’s you old pal BeefLoaf, it feels good to get through the Holidays with only minimal additional plaque build up on my coronary arteries and with some excellent interactions with both family and friends, especially those friends that joined us at the Section 108 / SoxMachine joint holiday party.  #108ing and all that shit……but at some point in every vacation, mostly every week, I wake up during the night unable to sleep because some idea that I have in my head needs to get out into our little eco-system.  An idea that I can’t express in 280 characters.  An idea that may not penetrate many of you at all, but if it calms my anxiety and let’s me sleep a few more nights, then it’s worth the inevitable backlash or blank stares of confusion I receive.

A vast majority of the folks in the WhiteSox twitterverse are in on this pursuit of Bryce Harper and Manny Machado.  I am too, ldo, but even if the White Sox don’t ink one of the two best free agents of the decade, they should still spend money in free agency in 2019.  Better yet, they should still spend money in free agency on the free agents that you might not like that much.  The free agents that would make you say, “Another mutherfucking Kenny Williams signing, goddamnit, I thought we were over those!!”.  Look, I am doing this for your own good, but yes, they should even spend money on THOSE kind of signings.

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The truth of the matter is, even your friendly neighborhood baseball analyst and sabrmetricians aren’t telling you the entire truth.  This isn’t shade, they mean well, and they think they are explaining things right, but they are missing some details….IMPORTANT ONES.

WAIT!  Before we get going, let me just say that I LOVE PROJECTIONS!  They are great tools for prediction / explanation / analysis.  I use them to hoist a many fantasy championships (along with the greenbacks that comes with the glory), however, the problem is, unless you read the fine print at a Baseball Prospectus or Fangraphs or wherever, you’ll be a little mislead by exactly what they mean.  You prolly at home (if you haven’t stopped reading due to boredom) sayin’ “Beef, wtf are you talking about?”  I heard Ben Lindbergh from the excellent podcast “Effectively Wild” say something like, and I am paraphrasing “I’m not sure why the Reds would add players to become a 75 win team“….again, I am paraphrasing, but this was in regards to their recent trade with the Dodgers (pronounced Doyers).  He continued, again paraphrasing “I guess there is something to say for being watchable“……there is that, but that’s not it either.  I don’t blame Ben for this, he’s great, and I don’t blame other analysts that make giant assumptions as to what the listening / reading audience may or may not understand.  I just work to help the listening audience understand.

75 WIN TEAM!!!!

What Ben means, what other baseball analysts and sabr folks mean is the median projection of a teams wins.  What is a median projection?  Re: Baseball Win totals, it means the most likely occurrence of wins for a team of a particular level of talent.  You’ll see some variability based on different projection systems or different allocation of playing time and maybe system A gets 75 wins, system B gets 73 wins and system C gets 77 wins.  Let’s just assume that 75 wins is the best projection.  Now let us zoom in on what the calculated % of the time is that a 75 win team will land on 75 wins….if you will, this is using the binomial distribution (I apologize for such terms, but this is a simple fans best method of illustrating this, also, I linked the Wiki definition, which is basically Greek to a gent like me, so I suggest YouTube for a better understanding of how it works).  A projected 75 win team lands on 75 wins 6.28% of the time.  WHAT!?!?!?!?

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That’s right, where am I going with this?  What a 75 win team looks like is a distribution of different win totals in and around 75, going out quite a bit of wins.  They can expect to win exactly 80 games ~4.59% of the time and exactly 68 wins ~3.44% of the time……..win exactly 87 games ~1.06% of the time….you get the idea…here’s the distribution of the 10 wins directly in and around 75 wins.  Once again, this is using a binomial distribution, which isn’t exactly perfect, but is a decent approximation.

70 4.63%
71 5.17%
72 5.63%
73 5.98%
74 6.20%
75 6.28%
76 6.19%
77 5.96%
78 5.60%
79 5.14%
80 4.59%

Is that clear as mud?  That’s what I thought.

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How does this effect the WhiteSox?  Don’t worry, we are getting there, until then, enjoy this excellent picture, take another sip of your favorite #108ing concoction and read on….

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The median wild card win total in the two wild card era (which started in 2012) in the AL is ~90 wins, BUT, the lowest win total to win a wild card in that time frame is 85 wins.  That’s a valuable number, especially with an 89 win team from 2018 (Mariners) going for a rebuild and the 2nd wild card team from last year, the A’s not looking like the 97 win team they were last year on paper.

85 WINS, let’s just take a look at that

The White Sox were a 62 win team last year (most of you have the battle scars from a 100 loss season, I can tell from your #108ing tweets), let’s see…

How often does a projected 62 win team, win 85 games or more?

~0.02% of the time

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That was last year though, I think everyone (including those down on the rebuild) can see some natural growth in this roster for the 2019 season.  Fuck, even if that growth is just adding Eloy Jimenez (aka Sabado Gigante) and not allowing Trayce Thompson or Bruce Rondon to play and be terrible, I think the natural growth has to be like a 70 win team.

Let’s just say the White Sox don’t make any additional moves that aren’t 100% warranted (like say possibly adding a dumpster dive at Starting Pitcher) and are a projected 70 win team….

How many times does a team projected for 70 wins, actually win 85 or more games?

~1.10% of the time

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Well, that doesn’t seem too goot either.  But guess what??  Now is where we get to adding some free agents, hopefully ones that turn your fucking stomach, just so that we drive the point home.  It is easy to add the guy that you LOVE in free agency, but it’s not as easy to add the guy who you fucking hate and see how they improve the teams chances at something more than “watchability”.  Just to show you that I have skin in this game too, I’ll add a couple of free agents that I don’t think are the Cat’s Meow.  Let’s try Dallas Keuchel and Adam Jones.  Adding those two dudes to the White Sox should add about 5 projected wins.

Let’s NOW say that the White Sox are a projected 75 win team with these two sort of smelly, less than perfect additions.

How many times does a team projected to win 75 games, actually win 85 or more games?

~6.74% of the time

This is slightly more frequently than the Cleveland Browns won in the 2016 season (sorry Sleepy Harold)

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Now we are getting somewhere…..

Now let’s go ahead and add AJ Pollock’s injured bones.  I know, you won’t like all of these adds, you won’t like them at all.  This is the exercise though, showing you how some of these things improve the White Sox probability of binking 85 wins.  That addition probably gets the 2019 White Sox to about 78 projected wins.

How often do the White Sox, projected for 78 wins, go ahead and win 85 games or more?

~15.34% of the time 

This is roughly 1 in 6, or how often you have to buy a round on a busy night in Section 108.

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That’s not bad at all, and truth be told, the mix of the players could, COULD actually be a mix of players you like.  Let’s add one more.  Yasmani Grandal.  That probably gets the 2019 White Sox to 81 projected wins.

How often do the White Sox, projected for 81 wins, go ahead and win 85 or more games?

~29.12% of the time or about as often as Jose Abreu gets a hit in his career.  That’s pretty often.

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Now we are cooking, as you start getting into the projected high 70’s low 80’s win totals, you have a punter’s chance at some real success.  This is what you don’t hear from analysts regarding probability.  They focus all their energy on how teams should be building a “projected” 90 win team, and that’s great and definitely still the path we hope our White Sox are on, but there’s nothing wrong with supplementing the roster with available cash that isn’t likely to find itself back into future payrolls.  Teams generally don’t take savings from one year and push them to a future year.  That cash is considered PROFITS and the next year is generally separate (not always).  I’d like the White Sox to utilize this years cash and sign, even the ugliest muthafuckin’ free agents that I hate and you love, that fill the appropriate spots on the roster, that don’t materially block anyone, to make IMMEDIATE. MEASURABLE. IMPROVEMENTS.

I know what you are saying……”Beef, is that all?”

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FUCK NO!!!!

A couple more TINGS….

The binomial distribution I provided as fodder for this discussion doesn’t consider the inherent variance of the roster in question.  It just considers normal luck.  What is Variance?  It’s the likelihood that the actual result varies from the predicted result. Think about “variance” from the perspective of going out #108ing.  A good chunk of the time, you’ll get your median projection, which is you go out, get a good buzz, have some fun and go home, but sometimes “variance” shows itself and you get other results.

Positive variance – You have a GREAT conversation with someone or you meet someone that helps your career from your interaction or you possibly even harness a romantic relationship (no matter how brief) from your #108ing evening.

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Negative variance – You go out, mouth off to a friend and tell her that her sister is (insert disparaging remark or lewd comment) or possibly you go all Kobayashi and have a “reversal of fortune”.  Those are bad #108ing evenings.

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Guess what, the White Sox roster is likely to have a larger amount of variance than that of an average roster.  Why?  They have a lot more young talent currently here and more to come that projection systems as a whole have a hard goddamn time predicting.  Now, the naysayer will note, that includes negative variance (which I detail above).

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We get to cash checks, pop champagne, do the hustle or whatever the fuck positive shit you do to celebrate when they win and that Positive variance comes a knockin’.  Meaning, we take the Positive variance only….if they are worse, so what, it’s what we have watched for years, but if they happen to get it right……If Carlos Rodon becomes the 6 bWAR ace we expect and Yoan Moncada becomes that monster up the middle player, we’ll have adequate role players, character actors if you will to make this thing a goddamn cult classic.  A WINNER!!!  We should gamble because it’s good for us.  We just don’t know when this young bullpen lead by Jace Fry will stop giving up runs and become one of the best in baseball, let’s be prepared in case it happens before we expect it.

I know what you are saying……”Okay, Beef, you are done now, right!?!?!”

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NOPE!!!

Last things, first…..I want our fearless leader Rick Hahn to get some…..practice or something like that.

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Remember the first time you ___________ ??

Yea, you weren’t good, nobody is, you need reps.  Same with Hahn, his free agent grabs in his young GM career have been materially ghastly.  A bad 80’s hip hop video collage.  It’s been ugly friends.  Guess what, if we know the White Sox, we are stuck with him for better or worse for awhile, so why not let him….FORCE HIM to do this work before it REALLY COUNTS, but when it could sneakily count.  I want Hahn to succeed, you want Hahn to succeed, right?

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He needs to learn how to do this, the baseball world is becoming infinitely more transactional, especially for middle market teams.  If you can’t find 2 WAR players outta nowhere like the Brewers, A’s and Rays, you gonna be in trouble.  We need to give Hahn more attempts.  He found us Palka, for which we are infinitely grateful, but we need to give him more shots, more attempts, in a semi-competitive environment, before the prospect machine is all revved up and spitting out all the remaining quality players and there is nowhere to hide.

I don’t want to be writing the post mortem on the 2019 White Sox and be writing about a team where Yoan Moncada had his career year and Carlos Rodon became an ace and the White Sox won 73 games.  Starting now, being ready to compete, if we run good should be on the table.

-BeefLoaf 

The 108 Interview Series – Chris Marysz

Here at the 108, it is our job….our duty to bring to you the great personalities of White Sox twitter, either via tweet / photo / video or blog post.  In continuing with the tradition of bringing you “the goods” from White Sox twitter we have our interview with the man who has the biggest mufuckin’ White Sox hat collection on the planet, Chris Marysz (@cmmarysz ),  ENJOY!!!

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Favorite Game That You Were At

  • July 17th, 2005. Game 4 of a 4 game series between the White Sox and the Indians in Cleveland. Me and a buddy of mine drove to Cleveland to that game. We swept the Indians and took a commanding lead in the division that season.
  • June 30th, 2005. White Sox at Detroit is up there too. Freddy Garcia pitched a complete game in Detroit. Another great game to attend.
  • September 21st, 2015. Jeff Samardzija shoulda have a perfect game that day if it wasn’t for a fucking single by Victor Martinez in the 5th I was so mad when that happened. But that pitching performance by Samardzija was awesome!! Another great game I attended.

Favorite All Time Player That Doesn’t Have a Statue On the Concourse

  • Mark Buehrle needs a statue on the concourse for his pitching and fielding contributions.

Favorite Drink and Dinner at the Park

  • I try not to buy food or beer inside the ballpark. Prices are too high. On Sunday games, me and Michelle C. will go out to dinner after the game. Get a good meal. I love going to get gyros after the games.

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Favorite Place to Sit

  • Anywhere in the lower bowl or Club section at Guaranteed Rate Fied. I do not like the upper deck at GRF. At road games, I’ve sat in the upper deck.

Favorite Uniform

  • It’s a tie between the 1983 home jerseys and the gray road pants with the alternate black jersey.

Favorite Giveaway

  • I don’t have a favorite giveaway per se. I like all bobblehead, hat, and t-shirt giveaways.

Favorite Theme Night

  • Beatles Night in 2017. That game was part of a doubleheader. Lots of alcohol consumed. In the 2nd game, we made our way to the 108, but no one was there. I was shirtless, don’t be shocked, and I was on the jumbotron. People saw it and said shit to me about it, lmfao!!!!

Dislikes

What irks you the most about White Sox fans?

  • The fans that don’t understand the rebuild process irk me the most. Yes, we’re gonna suck during these years when the farm system is being developed. Deal with it. Good things are coming our way soon!!!

What is the worst part of being a Sox fan?

  • Not making the playoffs in the last 10 seasons. I want a playoff appearance damnit!!!!!

Worst part of the game day experience?

  • Waiting in line to enter the ballpark.

What really grinds your gears?

  • Don’t lie to me. And people that piss me off. Don’t piss me off either.

Least Favorite White Sox player of all time

  • Adam LaRoche by far. Didn’t like having him on the team. Having his son constantly in the clubhouse was a distraction to the team IMO. A kid his age needs to be in school, not at the ballpark.

Game Day

Most memorable experience as a White Sox fan 

  • Being at White Sox games with my friends. During these lean years the White Sox have experienced, enjoying the game with your friends makes the game worthwile.

Ballpark experience, how could it be better?

  • I wish the White Sox would make their giveaways all fan giveaways like they do for most giveaways at Miller Park. It wouldn’t force me, or fans alike, to wait in line forever to get the item. Then get in the park early and be forced to buy concessions if you’re thirsty or hungry. I’d rather tailgate and eat and drink in my car where it’s cheaper.

Best Sox Park hack?

  • In and out privileges at Gate 5 to go ‘smoke.’ Just go out to the car and have another drink. It’s cheaper from the car versus the ballpark.

What brings you back for every game?

  • I love going to White Sox games. Being with and seeing the friends I’ve made at the ballpark over the past 4 seasons makes going to games worth it win or lose.

Feelings on the wave?

  • FUCK THE WAVE. When the wave happens at the ballpark and it gets to me, I put my right arm up with the middle finger flying high!!!!

Which Gate is your favorite to enter the park from?

  • Either Gate 2 or Gate 5.

How Early Do You Get To Games?

  • Usually I arrive 90-120 minutes prior to games to get a good parking spot and do some tailgaiting. When I go to Saturday games, I’ll park in Lot B. For Sunday games, it’s mostly Lot E due to arriving later than I plan.

What Do You Bring To Games? 

  • I bring a carry-in bag with me to games that has a bottle of water, snacks, phone charger, and eyeglass wipes. I bring a cooler with me to tailgate before games filled with ice, pop, and beer.

How Many Games Do You Go To Each Year?

  • I average 20-25 games a season since I’ve been going back to White Sox games in 2015. 2018 was the best season for me attendance wise. I did 20 White Sox home games, 3 White Sox games in Detroit, 2 White Sox games in Pittsburgh, 2 White Sox games in St. Louis, 1 White Sox game in Cleveland, and 1 White Sox game in Cincinnati. I also make it a point to get to 1 Milwaukee Brewers home game. I love Miller Park!!! I also went to a random Kansas City Royals – Cleveland Indians game in Cleveland just because I love going to baseball games.

 

Section 108 Questions

What is your favorite baseball word?

  • White Sox winner!!!

What is your least favorite baseball word?

  • And this ballgame is ovah.

What get’s you excited about the White Sox?

  • Watching them play, going to games, interacting with my friends and White Sox fans.

What makes you sad about the White Sox?

  • Not making the playoffs in 10 years.

What sound or noise at the ballpark do you love?

  • I love when the fans cheer at the ballpark. Gets the juices flowing. Makes the game day experience better.

What sound or noise at the ballpark do you hate?

  • I don’t have a noise I hate at the ballpark. One thing I do hate is the wave. FUCK THE WAVE!!!

What is your favorite Hawkism?

  • ‘You can put it on the board, YES!!!!!!’

Let’s get on with it, you have this biggest muthafuckin’ White Sox hat collection there is, what number are you at right now?

  • As of this interview, I am at 178 White Sox hats.

How did you get started with collecting White Sox hats?

  • It started when I purchased the 2016 Father’s Day hat. Love that hat. Then 2017 came and started getting more of the themed hats and things went from there.

Which White Sox hat in the collection is your favorite?

  • The 2017 Father’s Day White Sox hat. I love the shade of blue they used on the hat. Plus I took the best buzzed selfie ever wearing that hat at a Speedway in Amherst, OH driving back to my Mom’s after seeing the White Sox play the Indians in Cleveland on June 10, 2017.

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Which White Sox hat in the collection is the rarest?

  • The heathered gray top, dark gray bill with the dark gray White Sox logo. Saw it on clearance at a mall. Had to get it. Had some people ask me where I got it because they wanted it. That hat was a lucky clearance find. It’s one of my top hats to wear.

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What means do you use to acquire all of these awesome hats?

  • I refuse to buy a hat at the ballpark. Prices are too expensive. I’m not paying the ridiculous City of Chicago / State of Illinois taxes, unless the hat is on clearance. I will not pay full price for a hat. The trick I use is paying $5 a year for the Access Pass Premium thru Lids. You get 20% off hats and 10% off other merchandise. I’ve also used Hat Club for hat purchases as well. With the exception of promotional giveaway hats at the ballpark, I only buy New Era hats, size 7-1/4. I will get snap back hats if they look cool. Fitted is the way to go. Never was a fan of the ’47 brand, so I will not get a hat from that company.

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Which of the hats do you wear the most?

  • 2016 and 2017 Father’s Day hats, 1983 Road White Sox hat, the gray on gray heathered hat mentioned above, my newest acquisition, the Sock logo hat, and the White Sox logo meshed into a baseball.

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Are there any White Sox hats out there that you don’t have?

  • Of course there are a bunch of hats that I don’t have. I try to get all the season themed hats when they come out. Other hats I get once they go on clearance.

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If there was a sick hat giveaway that you wanted to add to your collection, and MySoxSummer was ahead of you in line to snag the last one, what would you do?

  • Go on eBay and purchase it. I know how the giveaway sales game works.

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Do you have any favorite #108ing stories you’d like to share, ballpark or otherwise?

  • Before #108ing became a thing, many a New Years Eve, I’d get shitfaced early on in the day and pass out usually around 730p-800p from the amount of liquor I’ve consumed. I would always awake shortly before midnight to see the ball drop and ring in the New Year!!

What’s your greatest fear about the “rebuild”? 

  • My biggest fear about the rebuild is that it could possibly fail and we won’t see postseason play for a long time. This 10 year drought of being in the postseason sucks.

What is there about this team that excites you the most?

  • I cannot wait until Eloy Jimenez makes his White Sox debut!!! I know for a fact a lot of Chicago NL baseball team fans were pissed off when he got traded to the White Sox. He’s gonna be a great baseball player for many years to come. And yes, I will be buying his shirsey and jersey once they go on sale.

Give us a #HotTake about the rebuild.

  • A #HotTake I have about the rebuild is Michael Kopech will come back from Tommy John surgery better than ever. He is going to be the ace of the pitching staff for years to come.

Favorite White Sox Twitter Account (Besides @fromthe108) and why?

  • I don’t have a favorite account per se. Everyone I have met from White Sox Twitter and Facebook all have been awesome and great people. I definitely would like to meet more Twitter and Facebook people in 2019.

Person from White Sox Twitter that you’d most like to meet and why?

  • For a verified Twitter account, it definitely would be Daniel Palka. That dude loves the 108 guys and crew and what they are all about. It is very awesome to have a player like him endorsing the 108. For a non-verified Twitter account, it would have to be anyone from the South Bend, IN area who like the White Sox like me. I know there are plenty of White Sox fans local to me. Please, feel free to hit me up. Let’s go out and have a drink somewhere and talk sports and whatnot.

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Favorite Non-White Sox Twitter Account and why?

  • It would definitely have to be @506sports. During NFL and college football season, the guy that runs this Twitter account tells you which games you will get on local TV and who will be announcing the game. Very useful information in my book.

What do you like best about @fromthe108 ?

  • All you guys are very awesome people. Glad to have met you guys at the ballpark. Always a great time going to say HI at the ballpark and shooting the shit for a bit while seeing our beloved White Sox play.

Favorite White Sox related blog or podcast and why?

  • I don’t listen to podcasts. I hardly read blogs, so I don’t really have a favorite. I get my White Sox news from Twitter followers and Facebook groups.

What is your favorite alcoholic drink for #108ing?  Be specific and feel free to go with more than one if you need to.  What about your favorite beer style?

  • For me, it’s the classic Captain and Coke, made with Coca Cola, not Pepsi. Though Wild Cherry Pepsi is acceptable. I’m a big, big, big fan of Captain Morgan. Beerwise, I like Miller Lite, Yuengling, and Spotted Cow.

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Favorite cut of Steak?  Prepared?

  • I’ll eat any steak that’s cooked rare or medium rare. I will not eat steak cooked well done. I refuse to eat shoe leather.

Gimme an “Uncle Rico” moment from your prior sports playing past.

  • Me play sports??? Hahahahahahahaha, I’m not in fucking shape to play sports. I get winded too easily. I did Science Olympiad in high school. That was my kind of thing.

Where would you take @ChiPartyAunt out on a date?

  • Who the hell is @ChiPartyAunt?? I’ve seen people retweet tweets from her. But I do not follow her.

Favorite performance enhancing drug?

  • I don’t do drugs, so I’ll decline this answer.

Who do you hate more Jim Belushi or John Cusack?

  • I don’t have an answer to this question. I’ll pass, lol!!!

 

Happy Ending

What Other Chicago Teams Do You Enjoy 

  • Have no interest in the NBA. I’m a Packers fan, so I despise Da Bears!!! Big, big Notre Dame fan seeing as I live in South Bend. And Notre Dame is close enough to Chicago to count in my book.

Favorite Chicago Sports History Moment 

  • 7/23/2009. Dewayne Wise making that spectacular catch in left field. He doesn’t make that catch, Mark Buehrle doesn’t get the perfect game. And winning the 2005 World Series was great as well. The entire 2005 postseason was great. We were so dominant that year.

Favorite All-Time Sox Broadcaster 

  • Ken ‘Hawk’ Harrelson without a doubt. Watching the Sox in the 1990s with him and Tom ‘Wimpy’ Pacoriek was the best. Loved that broadcasting duo.

Any Stories About Running Into or Meeting White Sox Players? Other Chicago Athletes?

  • Went to my 1st and only SoxFest in 2016 and met some players there. Won’t ever do SoxFest again tho. Not for me. Rather attend baseball games at the ballpark. Better experience for me.

Favorite Band?

  • Too many favorite bands, lol. I like Led Zeppelin, Van Halen, The Who, anything in the classic rock genre and / or is on 97.1 The Drive, which is my go to radio station when I go out to Chicago.

What is your favorite song?

  • Stairway to Heaven – Led Zeppelin

Favorite TV Show (or Netflix or HBO or whatever the fuck)?

  • Favorite TV show has to be Two and a Half Men (Seasons 1-8). Big, big, big fan of that show when Charlie Sheen was lead actor.

Married or Single? Looking for a GF? 

  • I wouldn’t mind having a girlfriend if anyone is available, lol!!!

Do you remember your first Sox game?

  • My 1st White Sox game was in 1993 vs. the Oakland Athletics. Dad took us there when I was 10. Loved the White Sox ever since.

What Player had the greatest impact on you?

  • Frank Thomas without a doubt. Face of the White Sox in the 1990s. He is the main reason I became a White Sox fan.

What was the happiest day watching the Sox?

  • October 26th, 2005 when we won the World Series for the 1st time in 88 years!!! Best day ever. Also, October 26th is my Mother’s birthday. I called her to wish her happy birthday before the game begin when I was sober. Then I called her again after we won the World Series 3 sheets to the wind, lmfao!! It was late for her on that 2nd phone call. She understood why I was happy!!!

What was the saddest day watching the Sox? 

  • I don’t have a moment I’d say is sad to say. I’ve seen enough losses in my day to not get sad anymore. At least in the current moment.

What do you do for work? If you could be or do anything else – what?

  • I work for WestRock. I make corrugated boxes. My machine makes moving type sized boxes and boxes you regularly see in stores that stock the shelves. It pays the bills and allows me to buy hats, attend White Sox games, and have fun.

If you could live in any other time, when might that be? 

  • I would like to live in the late 1950s on when the interstate highway system was first started to be constructed. It would be awesome to see all the highways we know today get built from the ground up, I’m a roadgeek, so that’s my type of thing.

If you could have dinner with five White Sox Players, past and present, who would they be?

If you could change one thing in your past, what might that be? 

  • Wish I never got a credit card right after I turned 18 years old.

What are you most proud of?

  • I am most proud of 2 things: My hat collection. The 4 slot machine handpays I have got within the last 2 years.

How would you like to be remembered?

  • I would like to be remembered for doing everything I do the best I was able to. And I want you to remember me for being your friend as well.

What’s the one thing about you few people know?

  • I would say many people here don’t know I’m a roadgeek. I’m the GPS system before GPS systems came to be, lol.

What do you dislike most about yourself? 

  • Definitely would be my teeth. Wish I would have taken better care of them over the years.

What do you dislike most in others?

  • Don’t lie to me. Not worth my time. Just tell me the truth. Makes things easier that way.

What were your best/worst subjects in school?

  • Best subjects were math, geography, chemistry, CAD / drafting, and US history. Worst was English and gym.

What do you like doing in your spare time? 

  • I like going to the casino, playing PS4, playing poker with the guys on Saturday nights, attending White Sox games, hanging out with my friends.

Who is your celebrity crush?

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  • Katharine McPhee. When CBS aired the show Scorpion, it was a must to watch the current episode as soon as I could just so I could see her. Wow she is so beautiful.

What is your favorite movie?

  • Smokey and the Bandit

What is your favorite baseball movie?

  • Definitely the 1st Major League movie hands down. An amazing movie to watch before the regular baseball season begins to get you pumped up for the upcoming season ahead!!

What is your biggest/weirdest fear?

  • I hate seeing blood of other people. Seeing it in person or on TV, I cringe and turn my head or shield me eyes. I definitely could not work in the medical field.

What would be your one super power? 

  • Avoiding accents when I’m out driving. Plenty of near misses, but I manage no damage. Always gotta be alert when driving. Especially at night when deer love to chill in the middle of the highway.

What would you change your name to?

  • I like my name. My last name, Marysz, is very unique. It’s Polish.

What pet would you love to have?

  • I’d get a cat. Easy to maintain. Not a lot of work to take care of a one. I like dogs, but I don’t have the time to take care of one.

What’s your one biggest pet peeve?

  • I hate when people snore when I’m trying to sleep. If I hear snoring, I can’t sleep.

What’s your one annoying habit?

  • I’d probably say biting my fingernails. Always do it. It’s disgusting. I need to stop. And some people would say me smoking is annoying too. I need to quit smoking. But it’s hard to do.

What would be a good theme song for your life?

  • Good Vibrations by the Beach Boys. That song is used in the movie Vegas Vacation. And I like to go to the casino. It’s so me, lol!!!

What ballpark would you like to visit?

  • All the ones I have yet to attend a game at. The current ballparks I have been to are: Guaranteed Rate Field, Miller Park, Busch Stadium III, Comerica Park, Progressive Field, PNC Park, Fenway Park, Wrigley Field, Great American Ballpark. I have once been to Tiger Stadium and saw the White Sox there about 25 years ago.

 

12 Days of 108mas: Merry Christmas To Me

Back in the day, had to have been early spring, I remember the Moore twins showing up to baseball practice both wearing the fantastic 1983 White Sox jerseys. It is burned into my mind, and like most people, I love that jersey. It’s either beloved or hated by everyone. But going with that, these guys were synonymous with those jerseys too.

I own a few ’83 jerseys, most recently I bought a Jeff Samardzija Cool Base one at SoxFest for $15. I was intending to change the name, but I got lazy. Plus when people see me in it they say 2 things. 1 – Man, Jeff really let himself go and 2 – I had no idea Jeff has retired. But fuck that guy. As much as I coveted a White Sox jersey from this time period, I really wanted the stuffed versions of Ribbie and Roobarb.

To quote a wise old looking man, here’s the thing, I had never seen these guys in person. I maybe had seen them on TV, but I knew their run at the park was less than spectacular. Lotta folks were crazy upset that a rando dressed like a clown was being upstaged by these fellas.

Side Note – I never met Andy The Clown. He might have been a great guy. A nice guy. Great with kids. I am just saying, that the track record for random clowns in Chicago isn’t the best.

Needless to say, as my father never took me to old Comiskey, I never saw these guys. And I seriously doubt I would have been able to swing the stuffed animal set from my father. As the refrain at every sporting event that we went to as a kid was “The game is the treat” (something that I am sure my daughters will never hear as I find it hard to deny them anything that costs less than a beer). So I grew up with no set of Ribbie and Roobarb stuffed animals.

When I moved to Bridgeport, I started my White Sox bobblehead collection. It’s dope AF, but that is another topic all together. In 2013, the White Sox made retail bobblehead versions of Ribbie and Roobarb. I loved them from the start. Talk to our guy Uncle Rico if you wanna see the prototype of Ribbie, he scored one from a damn gypsey. Spolier Alert – it looks exactly as the retail release. A guy took advantage of a new collector. What a POS. Anyways, here is what they look like –

Pretty badass, but this only made my fire for the stuffed versions grow larger. I started my fruitless journey for them back in 2013. I hit alot of thrift stores and I have never seen this twosome. Never. You see them from time to time on Ebay, but usually for $100+, not something I wanted to spend. Bums me out just thinking about it.

So anyways, while on Ebay a few weeks back, I spotted a pair for $65. Ribbie was pretty dirty, Roobarb was brand new, but what the fuck right? I offered the guy a fair price and never heard back from him. Foiled again!

Then, like a Christmas miracle, he contacted me a week ago accepted my offer (and even though he took his sweet ass time sending them) I am now a proud owner of the set. Which is awesome, cause my Spuds MacKenzie (The Original Party Animal) stein was getting lonely.

Merry Christmas from all of us at the 108! We appreciate your support and take this time to catch up with our podcast! We have 6 episodes, which is about 14 hours of content to listen to. Go to where you download podcasts and look for “fromthe108” podcast. Or do like I do, Google that shit and download it that way.

-MSS

12 Days of 108mas: The 5 – Christmas Favorites for Pets

Hi friends, it’s your old pal BeefLoaf, as we roll up on Christmas day I’m coming back at you with another post for 12 days of 108mas.  If there is one thing that is under represented in the 108 blog it is our favorite fur friends and how they effect our lives.  It’s no secret, pets of all religious denominations FUCKING LOVE THE HOLIDAYS!!!  Since I celebrate Christmas and have been a long-time pet owner, I figured I would get down on the highlights of the Christmas season for our fur babies…..Enjoy!!

5 – Tinsel

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If you aren’t listening to the FromThe108 Podcast, then you are not only missing out on our “unique” White Sox analysis, but you are missing out on many stories and (Vincent Antonelli aka Todd Wilkinson like) anecdotes.  In the most recent show, Episode 6 “Major Rager for MacHarper” I discussed how mine and Chorizy-E’s childhood cat LOVED chomping down on tinsel from the tree.  I have no idea how many pounds of that shiny junk that fine feline ingested, but she sure kept going back for it every single holiday season.

4 – Shiny Ornaments

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I’m being kinda cat biased right now, but FUCK IT, I love cats and I won’t let the dog people intimidate me into not talking about these important issues.  Anywho, Shiny Ornaments are an obvious cat obsession, I mean, they look a lot like the toys that Jackson Galaxy would recommend for them.  There is really no solution for this, cats are going to fucking play with these ornaments and eventually break them….ALL OF THEM.  I recently read a study, that estimated each house cat in the country destroys 13.5 ornaments per holiday season.  It’s science.

3 – Cloth Ornaments

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There aren’t many cloth ornaments still out there in Christmas trees, but those that still do exist have likely been nibbled, gobbled, licked and possibly destroyed by our sweet innocent fur babies.  Look, its our own fault, we shouldn’t put cat / dog toys on the tree.  You’d think we’d learn, but we never do.

2 – Wrapping Paper

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Nuff said

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1 – Chocolate (and Alcohol)

Look, I don’t condone everything I write, but if we are being honest with ourselves, there is a lot of loose chocolate and booze around the holidays and it’s not like our pets AREN’T interested in this stuff.  If you are like me, you are sloppy as fuck around the holidays with eating and drinking and you probably won’t be able to keep your pets outta this hooch.  Just try to keep them from having too much, for cats, no more than a Snickers Bar worth of chocolate and a double tequila neat.  For Dogs, you can up the chocolate intake to a maximum of the equivalent of 12 cadburry eggs and a 6 pack of Schlitz.

-BeefLoaf

12 Days of 108mas: Yule Logs

If you’re anything like me there will be periods of time during the holiday season that people are over, you got the Christmas music going, but the TV is just a big useless pile.  Sure you can throw on the Nobody Gives a Fuck Bowl sponsored by Church’s Chicken, but nobody wants to watch that.

And watching Die Hard with no volume is more of a tease than over the pants hand stuff.  So instead, may I offer you a couple of digital yule logs to burn for your enjoyment.  They need no volume, but are very visually pleasing.

Nick Offerman

Now I know this guy is a Cubs fan, but it’s the holiday season and we can let that slide for the next 10 hours of him sitting by the fire with a glass of scotch.

Darth Vader

Now this is my favorite and is actually currently on in my home as I write this.  I love Star Wars and Darth Vader, so his burning corpse lighting up my living room is just a thing of beauty.

I hope you enjoy these very much.

-Chorizy-E