The 5 – Most Attainable Starlets Of The 00’s

Big thanks to everyone that has been coming out and voting for your favorite White Sox Twitter accounts in our #108Tourney. Just remember who brings you these types of blogs, the ones that really matter. Vote for ya boy, me! My Sox Summer!

The Final part of my “Most Attainable Starlets” takes us to the the 2000’s. Crazy times. Check out the ladies that made my cut! If you missed the first two, check out the 80’s here and the 90’s here.

1. Meltdown Britney Spears

Remember these times? Oh they were great. Britney was ending her marriage, was losing custody of her kids to her loser seeming husband and she really just went off the rails. Earlier she married that George character from Seinfeld. Remember that? Mother fucking Jason Alexander. Who knew he was hip with the ladies?

Now, you weren’t gonna get “Oops!’ Brit, but you might have been able to get her on her way down. Still Britney Spears! Great story for the grandkids! “One night grandpa was clubbin’ Hollywood and this bald chick walked in with an umbrella…”

2. Meltdown Lindsay Lohan

Right there with Britney, was Lindsay Lohan. Rehab. Drinking and driving. Just a real mess. I was in California during this time, watching a ton of Californication. My roommate told me that she thought that show was no way accurate. I used to tell her “It’s LA! Everyone fucks everyone!”. I was pretty certain that I would have a shot with Lindsay if we crossed paths having a smoke outside some Hollywood club. I am also pretty sure she was really into fat, artistic guys from the midwest. Mean Girls Lindsay wasn’t attainable, that was just for Fez, but when she was in melt down mode, getting arrested, maybe we all had a shot.

3. Reality Show Anna Nicole Smith

Again, PMOTY Anna Nicole? No way. Guess Ads Anna? Hell no. But reality TV show Anna? HELL YEAH! Hell, she got down with a guy on The Howard Stern Show who is pretty damn gross. Pretty sure, right place, right time, you getting up in her. Especially during that time, she was seriously druggin’ and that just helps your case when you looking to land someone typically out of your zone.

And she wasn’t all that bad looking during that time period. Looked good, was always horny and had excellent food choices available 24-7. BeefLoaf and I wax poetic about Anna Nicole all the time. A serious game changer for the guys who like some curves. She is a goddamn legend. #RIPIP

4. Bijou Phillips

She’s the one on the right. The one of the left is Rachel Minor, ex-wife of Macaulay Culkin, who I am sure was pretty attainable herself. But we’re talking about Bijou. Ever see Larry Clark’s Bully? Oh man, you really should if you liked Kids and enjoy a pretty graphic re-telling of a true story through the eyes of Mr. Clark. It’s got everything – Telly who gave everyone AIDS in Kids as a fake gang member, the fat kid from Mean Girls as the lackey cousin who loves Mortal Kombat and an alive Brad Renfro.

Now, Bijou plays a girl who is really into the sex in this movie. She’s a freak, but not half of the freak she is in real life. Her father is pretty out there, as was her mom, so much so when they split they were both found unfit to have custody. She was living alone by age 14, drinking and drugging. Lost her virginity to Evan Dando at 15 and hung with the Hilton sisters. 1st rehab at 17. She married Hyde from That 70’s Show, which is weird as he’s into Dianetics and rape (allegedly). I figure you provide some concrete foundation for this thing called life and she’d be all over you.

5. Amy Smart

Here’s the thing, Julie Harbor is a hell of a pull for Mox. And Beth was way outta Josh’s league. So that plays in all of our favor. She’s like a hotter, 2000’s version of Joey Lauren Adams. Ever see Crank? Fucking movie is ridiculous, but Jason Statham straight up bones her in the middle of Chinatown while everyone watches and cheers. And if that wasn’t the craziest thing ever, he bones her at a horse track in Crank 2, same reaction. You can find both those vids on YouPorn, so yeah.

Amy seems pretty easy going and doesn’t have any hangups on showing off her body in the movies. She also did voices for Robot Chicken. Does that transfer to her wanting to hang with you and eat cold pizza the morning after? Maybe. It’s worth a shot anyways.

So there you have it, 15+ girls from 3 decades that you might have had a chance with. Feel free to @ me with anyone that I missed. Baseball can’t get here soon enough.

-MSS

The 5 – Most Attainable Starlets Of The 80’s

Our guy BeefLoaf likes to crack a whip here and there. Last week he was spouting off about the lack of blogs that we’d been writing. So he, in the best way he knows how, motivates us to do some work. He SHAMES us. Chorizy, growing up with the guy, is less swayed by big bro, but I always take my fake scolding. He tossed an idea out to me, based on something I say a lot, so enjoy!

The idea was to name the most attainable starlets. I immediately thought of porn, but those girls fuck for money, so if you pay up they all are sorta attainable. So my next thought was starlets from my childhood, which became decades. That is what I settled on. Enjoy the girls who made it seem like you could date them, yes you! Regular old you. This is the first part of a 3 part series.

1.Courtney Thorne-Smith

Summer School. Revenge Of The Nerds 2 / Nerds In Paradise. Plus she was on a shitload of TV series, Growing Pains, Day By Day, L.A. Law. What a blonde beauty. Always played the nice girl, throaty voice, and always seemed to have the control. Oh yeah.

So what makes her attainable? As Sunny, in Nerds 2, she is put out there to destroy the Nerds and keep them away from the hotel. But she jumps ship and joins the nerds in their pursuit of acceptance. Plus she drops a few, “hey I’m smart” lines that make you know she is about more than just a good looking guy. For sure had a shot with her.

2.Alyssa Milano

Really needs no introduction. There was just something about Alyssa Milano that made you think you had a chance. She was cool, didn’t seem as stuck up as Molly Ringwald or Winona Ryder, and seemed like she’d drink a beer or shoot some pool with ya. Maybe it was because she played a tomboy on TV and her dad was Tony Danza. Or what I first saw her in, Commando. Fucking loved that movie. Plus, 1994’s Embrace Of The Vampire, yeah buddy. That was awesome. My childhood came full circle.

I followed her on Twitter in my older years, and well, she really made me sad. She wasn’t how I thought she was all these years. Fuck you internet!

3.Elizabeth Shue

Yes. So much yes. In Karate Kid, she dumps the hot guy and actively pursues the new kid. Hope for all the small statured, hot headed kids. She is also cool, likes sports, arcades, and guys with goofy older Asian men friends. Plus she is totally fine with Daniel’s mom driving them on a date. Fucking hope springs eternal. The fact that she is easy on the eyes doesn’t hurt either.

4. Susan Ursitti

Yeah, that’s “Boof”. She stuck around a whiney, bitchy, hot head loser talking Michael J. Fox and made his whole life. She looks like a young Joan Jett, was nice to even take this wolf guy back after he was rude AF to her. She knew he was just going through a popular phase and would be back to the same old nerdy guy and waited it out. That’s a good lady.

Hell, I am even gonna throw Lorie Griffin in here too. She WANTED to fuck the Teen Wolf. That makes me think she wasn’t too hard to talk into some hand stuff. At the very least over the clothes action.

5. Nancy McKeon

Listen, Blair was crazy hot, but she wasn’t letting you do jack. No way she was into you, but Jo, oh Jo, she’d help ya change your oil and make out after. I know some of you are saying that Natalie or Trudy were the gimmies, but I think by far Jo would be a shocker, maybe even let you give her the shocker. Give her a Google too, Jo done held up. Hubba, hubba.

Up next, The 90’s.

-MSS

The 5 – Most Attainable Starlets Of The 90’s

Part two of my “Most Attainable Starlets” takes us to the the 1990’s. This was some fun years. Check out the ones that made my cut!

1. Joey Lauren Adams

She dated fat Kevin Smith. For a long time. Nuff said.

2. Jennifer Love Hewitt

Ok, this deserves a story. J Love was a huge star back in the day and that for sure shouldn’t make her very attainable. But ya know what? She is bat shit crazy. Like for real. Here’s Rich Cronin’s story from Howard Stern –

Howard asked Rich about dating Jennifer Love Hewitt, so Rich replied that he met her at an awards show: “I decided to talk to her and she kept talking to me and talking to me.” Rich eventually flew out to LA for their first date (at Universal Studios) and she asked him to stay with her that first night: “She made me wear two condoms.” Rich laughed that Jennifer even gave him a ring: “She said, ‘Listen, I wanna marry you. We’re gonna be together forever.'” Later, Rich found out she gave the same ring to other guys as well.

It’s like the parting gift basket that Jeter used to give out to ladies. Except Jeter just wanted the girl to leave, J Love wanted every guy to fall in love with her. She’d be perfect for a quick “hit it and quit it” as I don’t think most people should marry crazy.

3. Alicia Silverstone

I know another huge star! But, she has a weakness. She’s vegan and she loves animals. Those are two huge things that you could use to your advantage to get close to her and make your move. Tell her your great vegan nachos recipe and introduce her to your shelter dog! Next stop, showing off your fabric seats in your Subaru.

Aside from those two things, she seemed really normal. Hung out with Liv Tyler and made some great videos for shitty Aerosmith songs. Made some great movie choices (The Crush, Clueless) and was even Batgirl! And she even was a love interest to Kevin on The Wonder Years. #Booya.

4. Tara Reid

Yup. Tara Reid. We didn’t know then what we know now, mostly how much of a mess she was. And it’s really hard for tigers to change their stripes. Maybe it’s her character in the Big Lewbowski, but I feel like if she was hammered and yearning, you might be able to get some action for 3 Marlboro Lights and a semi-warm can of Miller Lite. Hell, you might even be able to swing a 3-way if Natasha Lyonne happened to be there too and she needed cash to score.

5. Drew Barrymore

She’s had a rough go especially by this time in her life. Poison Ivy, Playboy, flashing Letterman. She can’t stay married for more than a year, and she married Tom Green. So she likes the funny guys! I think a couple one liners might appeal to her, as would just hanging out being cool. But not too cool, and you shouldn’t try too hard. Cause she’s Drew Barrymore, she’s a sensitive badass.

Up next, the 00’s.

-MSS

1 Thing I Would Have Talked About If We Did A Podcast This Week – True Detective.

Alexandra Daddario. You know. If you don’t know, Google.

If you’ve listened to our most recent podcast, you might have missed something early in the show. Ot happened during the intros where we pass it around and talk about how we are doing. It was during this time Mr. BeefLoaf said he wasn’t sleeping too well cause he had just watched the first 2 episodes of True Detective and was trying to figure out what happened. Wait, wut?

This fucker was trying to figure out what happened! IT’S TWO FUCKING SHOWS IN! It looks to be slated for 8 episodes at least, so how is a guy who has the physique of Columbo (but not necessarily the brilliant mind) losing sleep this early in the game?

Now, I ain’t saying ‘Loaf is dumb, he is actually crazy fucking smart. I run stuff by him all the time. But the smartest guy easily is Chorizy. I am the dumbest guy outta the 3, no question, but hardly the dumbest guy you’ll ever meet. There is no way that there has been enough information given to the viewer to form an opinion much less a theory in the first 2 episodes.

In the first two episodes they are just laying the foundation for the whole story. You don’t move into your house right after they pour the concrete do ya? Nope, you let them frame it. Lay the pipe. Run electric. Hang drywall. You know what I am saying. You gotta give it time to get built.

Is that BeefLoaf squatting up in the attic?

If you haven’t watched True Detective (it’s on it’s 3rd season, but they are all different stories, not connected) you should start on Season 1. Trust me. It’s creepy, mostly cause it seems like could happen. You can skip Season 2, it was fucking odd. Like not all that entertaining odd. Now, it’s early in the game, but Season 3 seems like a return to the roots. I know you have been fucked by the term before, I know I have (Zwan record sounding like classic Smashing Pumpkins, Pearl Jam records, ect), but it really seems like the 1st season so far.

One thing that came very clear in the 3rd episode is that Stephen Dorff is slowly morphing into Fred Durst. Seriously, check this out –

You put a red Yankees cap on Stephen here he looks like a young Fred Durst. Fred hasn’t aged as well as Stephen, and Stephen smokes like a fucking chimney. And it ain’t a Blu E Cigarette in the show, he makes sweet mouth love to an old school cig about every 32 seconds.

So that is one thing I would have talked about if we had done a podcast this week. I also would have lost my shit about a claim that the Sox could have signed Avi Garcia for what he signed for in Tampa. Yes, someone said that. HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

Listen, if you were a contract worker and you went into the bosses office to sign a new contract and YOU KNEW it was supposed to pay $8 million dollars. Now when you get in that meeting they say, no, we aren’t gonna pay you that, we’d like to offer you less than half of that. How well would that go in your life? You gonna take that offer? FUCK NO YOU WOULDN’T. You are gonna tell that boss to get fucked and leave ASAP. As well you should. I am happy that Avi got a job somewhere, but he no way would have signed with the Sox for less than they would have paid him had they wanted to resign him. It was a horrible take. Straight up HOT GARBAGE.

Come see us tonight and look for me running around at SoxFest. Wear your 108 gear to get a free koozie!

-MSS

Ranking The 1st Wave of 2019 White Sox Giveaways

The White Sox announced the 1st wave of promo dates and along with that made the announcement of several promo items. This is where I , MSS, am a viking. Everyone wrote a quick blog about the items, but it’s my job to critique these items like it matters. I am NOT gonna critique the free T-Shirt Thursday offerings, well, who cares as I can’t fit into those anyways.

Worst to first, here we go!

Star Wars™ Night, presented by TransUnion, on Saturday, May 4 vs. Boston

Listen, you gotta be fucking kidding me. Here we have a plain ol’ R2D2, nothing Sox related on it, not even in Sox colors, but it looks like background might be Sox related. Ask Uncle Rico how much he likes these cardboard backgrounds. Spoiler, he fucking hates them. The Hawk Solo last year was really fucking unique compared to this. Even the 2016 offering of a generic ass Stormtrooper. If anything, this just proves that we need some goddamn stars on this team so this bullshit can stop. Although Wellington Castillo would be a great R2D2.

Marvel Super Hero™ Night and White Sox Spiderman Bobblehead on July 27 vs. Minnesota

Ok, this isn’t the worst only because I like Spiderman a wee bit more than R2D2. Now, obviously the pic isn’t the final, but hopefully like the IronMan last year it will be Sox colors. If not, this sucks balls too. I don’t mind the tie-in’s but why can’t it be a player? I mean I mocked this up already –

I did the job and it went unnoticed. Not the first time and not the last, but we all know that a Daniel Palka as the Hulk is way more fucking choice* than a Spiderman bobblehead. Right? I know I am right, so no worries.

José Abreu Silver Slugger™ Bobblehead, presented by Constellation Energy, on April 27 vs. Detroit

Here’s the thing, Jose Abreu now joins Frank Thomas, Paul Konerko and Chris Sale as a player that has far too many White Sox bobbleheads. I know, not a bad club, but Jesus, shake it up a little would ya? Props for using the ugly players weekend jersey. That is (kinda) cool. Negative props for doing the 4th bobble for a guy who has been here for 6 seasons.

Los White Sox Soccer Jersey, presented by Coca-Cola, on May 5 vs. Boston 

Now, I like this. I really do. However, I think the patch should be ’83 related. Not sure why they are using the old english, but the batter guy would be 1000% better. I like the colors. Now only if they made a XXL for us Fatty McFattersons.

Carlos Rodón Bobblehead, presented by Wintrust Community Banks, on May 18 vs. Toronto

Kudos to the Sox for going out on a limb and making a bobblehead of Carlos. It hasn’t been the smoothest career for Mr. Rodon, but I think he is gonna have the best year of his career this season. I like the black jersey. I like, as said on the Twitters, no undershirt, not buttoned up, that is Carlos. Now, his face could be really fucked up, but I am gonna say it isn’t. Only drawback is this looks alot like the Mark Buehrle they did in 2017.

White Sox Hawaiian Shirt, presented by Beggars Pizza, on June 15 vs. the Yankees

Normally I would rip this to shreds. It’s a recycled idea, as it’s the 3rd hawaiian shirt they have done in 4 years. That sucks, but this shirt is DOPE AF. It’s so choice*. Love the white. Love the logos. Love the pizza slices. I do hate the fact they are giving it away on a Yankees weekend, which is not so choice*, but what you gonna do? It’s gonna be a hot item, get there early. Easily the best hawaiian shirt they have done. They have gotten better year after year, so that is a plus.

And now, the best of the first wave, drumroll please…..

White Sox Hoodie, presented by Guaranteed Rate, on April 6 vs. Seattle 

Ok, the White Sox bringing back this logo, in black and white is fucking awesome. I love the colors, I love the logo. I just wish for all that is holy that one day a 2XL will be made available. It won’t, but that won’t stop me Opening Weekend getting there early to get one of these bad boys. Also, this just adds to the other great giveaways that Guaranteed Rate has done since they came aboard. The zip up sweatshirt. The quarter zip long sleeve t-shirt. Now this black hoodie with one of the greatest logos the Sox have ever done. Cheers to the Sox and Guaranteed Rate for keeping on top of the giveaway game and making this pile of awesomeness. Gonna be in high demand, get there early for this one too. Bring your friends and swing by the 108 to have a couple, two, tree.

-MSS

* “So Choice” for you youngins is a positive thing. If you haven’t seen Ferris Buller’s Day Off, please do. Last year I brought back “booya” and “dope”. So far, all my attention has been devoted to bringing back “so choice”. I might bring back “bull honkey”, but not sure it deserves to be brought back. Only time will tell.

108 Polls – The City Jersey Battle

Back in the day the topic came up on our new podcast about the White Sox trotting out the retro jerseys all the time. It was also discussed that the players’ weekend jerseys were trash compared to the 2019 NBA city jerseys. Our guy ‘Loaf ran a poll asking the folks what jersey they would like in the 2019 campaign. With no shock to MSS, the Sox fans came through and picked a retro jersey over a city one. ‘Loaf then took the “Steve Jobs Approach” that you folks don’t know what you want ’til you see it. So a drunk MSS boasted that we’d do a battle. He got two of our favorite Twitter graphic designers to submit an entry(s) and even MSS got in the game too. The stage was set for greatness.

Having got his degree in Art (B.A. mofos) from THEE Northern Illinois University and having sat through many art critiques where he bullshitted how “deep” his strongly pornographic art was, MSS has added his comments. Like he’s a professional or some shit.

We give you the 2019 WHITE SOX CITY JERSEY BATTLE!

1st Up – JeffMugs (@jeffmugs)

Jeff’s Take –  With mine, I tried to think of something iconic that everyone from Chicago would recognize, so I did the Hancock design.

MSS Take – Let me just say that the subtle John Hancock Tower reference is fucking dope. As is the Sox silhouette on the black version. Details, I fucking love them. I like the use of the old logos and obviously the Chicago flag colors and elements. Nothing screams Chicago more than that.

Next @soxon35th‘s own B-Son (@bson)

MSS Take – Pants on fucking point. Those are dope AF. I like the use of the late 80’s early 1990 jersey cursive C. Obviously the Chicago flag colors and elements are working well in this version too. And in true BSon fashion, this fucker is complete and looks legit. I mean shoelaces? You slay Bson.

And finally @fromthe108‘s MSS (@mysoxsummer)

MSS Take – So, admittedly, I took a way different approach. I also took FOREVER. These guys cracked theirs out in a matter of days. My original concept was using the White Sox road jersey “Chicago” script but have it say “South Side”. Work that in 3 layers, stack the flag colors, on a black jersey. However no matter how I hard I tried, it just didn’t work. So for some reason Kanye’s “Homecoming” (which was a fave when I was west coastin’) was up in my head so this is what popped out.

I tend to stay kinda minimal, so that is what you see. Subtle blue use, mainly using the red, black and white. Stars used and I brought back the Sox diamond patch that I was a huge fan of on the aways. There could even be an up north version for the Crosstown Classic. I don’t know, I’d like to see these get made for sure.

So Go Vote!

Starting Wednesday (1/16) we are gonna put up a poll(s) and you guys can vote for one of these entries or one of the old retro jerseys. Your call!  Plus maybe ‘Loaf is right, yous don’t know what yous want till you see it. Also, for any designer / artist out there (Zach from New Sox Order, looking your way) that wants to mock up their own version PLEASE FUCKING DO! Tweet it at us and we’ll put ya in the battle!

Special thanks to Jeff and BSon. We appreciate the help and you guys knocked it out the park. Next up, 108 Jersey Design Contest!

-MSS

1 Person I Would Have Talked About If We Did A Podcast This Week – Carson Fulmer

As you guys know, hopefully, we started a podcast a few months ago. It’s good shit especially if you read this blog and enjoy our musings on Twitter. Due to life we decided that this week we would take a break as Loaf was vacationing in Texas and Chorizy was in Vegas hanging with Daniel Palka. So I decided to write a quick blog on 1 of the things I would have talked about on this week’s pod. I am listening to Enter The Wu-Tang 36 Chambers as I type, feel free to do the same.

I was rolling around in the White Sox Premium group on the Facebook. I engaged in a lengthy conversation with one of the admins about our former starting pitcher Carson Fulmer. The question was raised if he could be a valuable guy in short relief / set up situations. I responded with what Chorizy has stated to me several times in the tub, “If he isn’t good to start, why would he be good later?” Well, let me tell you, the admin didn’t agree with my statement at all. He responded very quickly with –

Ridiculous. There’s a long list of failed starters that became excellent releivers.

So, the examples named by this guy were as follows –

How about Lee Smith? Dennis Eckersley? Mariano Rivera?
All failed at starting at some point and converted to relief pitching. This isn’t new.

I am a student of internet arguing so I did some quick research and what really stood out to me was the mention of Dennis Eckersley. My baseball knowledge isn’t all that awesome, so upon a quick search I learned that Eck had a 20 win season as a starting pitcher. Hardly a failure in my eyes. At the very least he had some success as a starting pitcher right?

Lee Smith barely was even considered a starter as he only started 6 games in 18 years. Mariano Rivera never really started in the MLB past his first year either. But his numbers were better than Carson in his 10 games started. Plus, both guys, in my eyes are complete exceptions to the rule as both guys are HOF’ers. Tom Gordon was brought up by another guy in the thread, but again, he had major league success as a staring pitcher. So much he was named ROY and won 17 games in his rookie season. Hardly failed.

I thought this was pretty sufficient proof that the guys he mentioned weren’t the best examples to be used to make a point, but nah, he said I was wrong. My point was “failed”. He still claimed that the guys above were failed starting pitchers.

I stated to him what I wrote above (exceptions) he said they were NOT exceptions, and there are many more. He even said that Fulmer wasn’t really a starting pitcher in college and that the Sox made him do it. Hmmm, that didn’t add up either so I Googled it up and found out that in his sophomore season he was moved to a starting pitcher pretty early in the season. He pitched 28 scoreless innings as a starter! he was 7 -1 in his sophomore year at Vandy with a 1.98 ERA. Junior year he was 14-2, with a 1.83 ERA. Then he was drafted by the Sox in the 1st round of the 2015 draft. Well, we know how well he has done in the majors 5-7, 6.68 ERA. 67.1 innings pitched.

So, again, no he wasn’t really a reliever in college (not anything of note anyways), he found success as a starting pitcher and the Sox took a gamble on him. Well, my guy said that his sample size is too small to make a decision if he can be a MLB reliever. And he could be right. But how many more games do we need to lose before we realize that he might not have the stuff to make it in the MLB? I would think that last year he would have been called up had he shown anything of value as our bullpen was a dumpster fire. But that wasn’t good enough either, my guy linked me to an article that shows the top 10 failed starting pitchers that became great relievers. You ready for this?

Pretty sure I pissed this guy off at a White Sox / Cubs Spring Training game while he was selling and signing stuff as I smoked right by him. He also had pictures that clearly he or his agent had taken to a Walmart and scanned them on the “print your own scanner”. The MLB hologram wasn’t a hologram, it was flat as fuck. Ha.

Rollie Fingers (HOF’er). John Franco (Never started a game in the MLB). Goose Gossage (Had 26 saves in 1975, Sox tried to make him a starter, didn’t work). Roberto Hernandez (Was barely a MLB starter). Jason Isringhausen (Failed Starting Pitcher). Jose Mesa (Failed Starting Pitcher). Joe Nathan (was still over .500 in his starting pitching years in MLB, went to the minors and was brought back as a reliever. I guess he was a failure?). Mariano Rivera (See Above). Francisco Rodriguez (The article states he started in his 1st 3 professional seasons, but he never played in the MLB as a starting pitcher. Failed I guess?) Lee Smith (See Above).

Ok, right now you are confusing this with a blog from Chorizy or ‘Loaf, but I assure you they didn’t write this. And if you are listening at home, 36 Chambers just finished so I have moved on to Wu-Tang Forever.

At this point in the conversation, I am kinda floored that a guy who seems pretty knowledgeable about baseball doesn’t really see the other side on Fulmer and how it would be crazy to say that he could be the next Mariano Rivera (which I don’t think he thinks that will be his path, but he used him as an example TWICE).

He did question my use of calling these guys exceptions which to most I would think they are clearly are. This is not the norm. I am sure there are tons of guys who have made the adjustment but I would be willing to bet 8 times as many of them haven’t. It’s baseball. Failure is part of the game. A big part. He said that didn’t prove much as tons of people fail. WTF?

Folks, according to a guy on White Sox Premium, Carson Fulmer has it in him to become a quality reliever. I, personally, don’t see it and I don’t think the Sox do either. But they will let him try it plenty I am sure. Carson is a great guy and awesome with anyone that comes into contact with him. I get it, I know why people would stand up for him and say he can do anything. But in my limited time seeing him pitch, I just don’t see this happening. I hope he comes back hard and can finally get control of his pitches to make it in any capacity as a MLB pitcher. Might happen with us, might happen with another team.

Also, I will glady eat all my words if he becomes a HOF Reliever. It will be a joy watching him and Zack Collins as the dynamic duo that will win us championships, set records and all that shit HOF’ers do.

Got a legit beef with me? Tweet at me. Think this is great? Share with your friends. Hate it? Tweet at me. I’ll gladly defend my position. Hope ya had a great holiday and many special thanks to everyone that showed up at our event on Dec 21st. We had a great time and will be doing plenty more in 2019. If you didn’t show, hit the next one! You miss that one though, and you don’t live in Canada, fuck you.

-MSS

 

12 Days of 108mas: Merry Christmas To Me

Back in the day, had to have been early spring, I remember the Moore twins showing up to baseball practice both wearing the fantastic 1983 White Sox jerseys. It is burned into my mind, and like most people, I love that jersey. It’s either beloved or hated by everyone. But going with that, these guys were synonymous with those jerseys too.

I own a few ’83 jerseys, most recently I bought a Jeff Samardzija Cool Base one at SoxFest for $15. I was intending to change the name, but I got lazy. Plus when people see me in it they say 2 things. 1 – Man, Jeff really let himself go and 2 – I had no idea Jeff has retired. But fuck that guy. As much as I coveted a White Sox jersey from this time period, I really wanted the stuffed versions of Ribbie and Roobarb.

To quote a wise old looking man, here’s the thing, I had never seen these guys in person. I maybe had seen them on TV, but I knew their run at the park was less than spectacular. Lotta folks were crazy upset that a rando dressed like a clown was being upstaged by these fellas.

Side Note – I never met Andy The Clown. He might have been a great guy. A nice guy. Great with kids. I am just saying, that the track record for random clowns in Chicago isn’t the best.

Needless to say, as my father never took me to old Comiskey, I never saw these guys. And I seriously doubt I would have been able to swing the stuffed animal set from my father. As the refrain at every sporting event that we went to as a kid was “The game is the treat” (something that I am sure my daughters will never hear as I find it hard to deny them anything that costs less than a beer). So I grew up with no set of Ribbie and Roobarb stuffed animals.

When I moved to Bridgeport, I started my White Sox bobblehead collection. It’s dope AF, but that is another topic all together. In 2013, the White Sox made retail bobblehead versions of Ribbie and Roobarb. I loved them from the start. Talk to our guy Uncle Rico if you wanna see the prototype of Ribbie, he scored one from a damn gypsey. Spolier Alert – it looks exactly as the retail release. A guy took advantage of a new collector. What a POS. Anyways, here is what they look like –

Pretty badass, but this only made my fire for the stuffed versions grow larger. I started my fruitless journey for them back in 2013. I hit alot of thrift stores and I have never seen this twosome. Never. You see them from time to time on Ebay, but usually for $100+, not something I wanted to spend. Bums me out just thinking about it.

So anyways, while on Ebay a few weeks back, I spotted a pair for $65. Ribbie was pretty dirty, Roobarb was brand new, but what the fuck right? I offered the guy a fair price and never heard back from him. Foiled again!

Then, like a Christmas miracle, he contacted me a week ago accepted my offer (and even though he took his sweet ass time sending them) I am now a proud owner of the set. Which is awesome, cause my Spuds MacKenzie (The Original Party Animal) stein was getting lonely.

Merry Christmas from all of us at the 108! We appreciate your support and take this time to catch up with our podcast! We have 6 episodes, which is about 14 hours of content to listen to. Go to where you download podcasts and look for “fromthe108” podcast. Or do like I do, Google that shit and download it that way.

-MSS

12 Days of 108mas: The 5 – The MySoxSummer XMas List

Let’s keep this train a rolling by breaking down some things the White Sox can get me for Christmas. I know, you got a bunch of people to buy for and there’s some nice shinny things that you got your eye on, but don’t you…….forget about me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3CUh8v7MNo
If you haven’t, you should soon.

Daniel Palka as Hulk Bobblehead

2019 should be the year of “No More Lame Ass Bobbleheads”. It can be a thing, I’ll even make a hat if you want. We have to start promoting these players like no tomorrow. Let’s start with the least thought bobblehead that can be made immediatly. Listen, it’s simple. I even made a mock up for you, so you can’t even complain.

You wanna make it even better? Have this sonovabitch talk! Jason’s call for a homer will work. Simple.

New Intro Video

I know it’s weird to ask this, as we usually don’t see the intro video, but for the times that I am there I need some spice. You know what can make that video even better? Us. Section 108 guys pounding beers between Palka bombs and Yolmer Gatorade Showers. But if you aren’t into that…

Don’t do something cheesy, do something that commands some fucking respect. Show your best self White Sox. You know what would be really cool? Blare some goddamn local music that is hype. I would suggest Local H, but you do you White Sox. Maybe get the boys in Local H to mash up some shit with Chance and set that shit off. Make it fucking happen. Yo, if House of Pain and Helmet can make this masterpiece, I can only imagine what awaits us.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NiK0JjCMsE

19oz Anti-Hero In The Seats – $10

Y’all know we like the beer. We also love Anti-Hero. Little known fact, at a meeting with Baderbrau last year, we begged them to make a 19oz Pilsner can to be sold in the seats. They were receptive, they were amped, but then we drank them outta business. Whoops. #OurBad

We’d like to get good beer to get blind drunk with, from the comfort of our seats. Isn’t that what most people want?

Now, if that isn’t gonna happen/possible, can we at least get the goddamn cans in the Xfinity Bar? 2018 we had to lumber our unfit asses up to the Revolution Bar to get 2 cans each and then exit said bar through the exit ramp. It is a trip we will make at the start of the game, but fucking no way we make in game. So help us help you. Simple.

1 Clothing Item That Fits Fat Guys

The Sox give away a buncha chit during the year most of that chit is dope. I ain’t gonna lie, the Sox give away several high end items. The one thing that is missing is the fat guy shirts. What’s insulting is they gave away a hawaiian shirt for 2 years straight, which is the standard fat guy party shirt.

Unless Wally$ is in need, I ain’t swinging up to the park early to get a free shirt. Mostly cause I can’t fit in that shit. I’d love one gate to be designated as the 2XL gate, giving  away at least 1 shirt that fits us fatties.

Now, maybe yous can bring back the Snuggie, which would be awesome in April or early May, but that seems like a cop out. The easy way.

I ain’t asking for a 2XL option for every shirt/ jacket / jersey giveaway, just 1. 1 fucking item. 1 time during the year. Make it a $1 dog night. Fucking simple. Me and the other fatties would love that and pay our respects to you and yours.

SIDEBAR – We have #108ing shirts in very extended sizes. Up to 6XL. No shit. You know how much the upcharge is on those sizes? $0. It costs as much as a medium. Or a small even. We pass that cost on to the skinny folk , but the shirt costs $25 shipped. No shit. Wanna buy one? Go here now!

Yes, they are sliming.

Points

I have a Southwest credit card that, in 2015 for our wedding, I put a ton of stuff on JUST to get the points. We cashed some of those guys in a few weeks back to go to sunny Florida. It cost us $0 to fly there. It was created by money that I had to spend anyways, which is a fucking win win. Why the fuck don’t we get points when we spend money at the park to earn perks? It would be simple to do and people would love it.

Hey, fans showing up for 100 loss seasons should have some enticement to continue to show up besides the promise of maybe better baseball on the horizon. I mean shit, I’d love a goddamn electronic punch card that a vendor can scan to get me my points. Maybe even let my vendor rate me to earn extra points. Fuck, I don’t know, we sent a guy to the moon in the 60’s, there are much smarter people than me that can figure this shit out. Just get me some goddamn points.

What did I forget? Send it my way on the Twitters. And if I don’t follow you, apparently you just gotta ask and I will give you a follow. Let that be my Christmas present to you. Yep, I will follow you, Merry Christmas!

-MSS

12 Days of 108mas: The 5 – Horny Christmas Jams

When I heard that people were all up in arms over “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” sounding a bit forward, I could only think of tons of other songs that are just oozing with way worse stuff than a guy trying to get some play.  So I present 5 xmas songs that seem much worse. 

5. Backdoor Santa – Clarence Carter

So, yeah.  I know, I thought anal too. But nope, it’s just a Santa that makes “all the little girls happy, While the boys are out to play”. Yo Santa, WTF?  Back in the day there was this sign that folks in my little town used to have all over the place – “Backdoor Guests Are Best” which we used to giggle about, but now you got a Backdoor Santa that keeps “some change in my pocket, in case the children are home. I give ’em a few pennies so that we can be alone”.  Guys, santa is boning your lady when you are out, even if the kids are home.  Holy shit.  

You might be thinking, “but I never hear this song MSS”.  You got a Goggle Home?  Ask it to play it, it comes right up.  Just like Backdoor Santa, fucking your girl.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0NoalRsk5w

 

4. Mistress For Christmas – AC/DC

From the band that brought you “Big Balls” we got this diddy.  Not typically played during the holidays north of the Mason Dixon line, but listen to this gem. 

“Listen, I like female form in minimum dress
Money to spend with a capital S
Get a date with the woman in red
Want to be in heaven with three in a bed”

Yo, I got nothing against paying for sex, especially if it’s a 3 way and you look like Angus Young without the talent. You gotta do what you gotta do.  I am sure this song see regular rotation around the holidays on any “classic rock” radio station.  Maybe even the strip club circuit.   Good for the guys in AC/DC, they were drunk and said “The Americans are always asking for a Christmas song, so let’s do one all sexy like”.  And they came through.  With flying colors, especially with lines like – 

“I can hear you coming down my smoke stack
I want to ride on your reindeer honey and ring the bells”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7doBMyEH_Ug

 

3. Santa Baby – Eartha Kitt

This song just oozes sex.  Basically telling Santa she stopped whoring for a year so she deserves all this stuff.  A Sable. A ’54 Light Blue Convertible. A Yacht. Deed to a Platinum Mine. Duplex and (blank) Checks. Decorations from Tiffanys’. But before you get the wrong idea, she also wants a ring, so you can get her all these things and then marry her so she doesn’t look like a girl just whoring out there.  She’s a married lady, to Santa. She also says that she’ll be just as good next year if he just brings here all this stuff.  

So hell, maybe they have an agreement and all, but it sounds like Santa is getting played like a piano (surprised she didn’t ask for one of those too) for very little or no action.  Your call Santa, but I think you can do better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=RDMk_GmhD053E&v=Mk_GmhD053E

 

2. Wit It This Christmas – Ariana Grande

Most of these songs are old school tunes, but here go Ariana Grande Davidson making a whole slow jam sex song about Christmas.  Yo, it’s not an awful song if you are into Ariana Grande Davidson, sounds like every other fucking song she has done. Fellas, if a girl puts this on for you while you are visiting for the holidays, you best be ready to put it down.  

She is basically throwing herself at the guy who happens to be over, which is really refreshing in comparison to the last song.  She even says that they don’t need presents, mistletoe, fireplace she just wants to keep ya warm.  You can be her drummer boy and she’s the only drum you gonna play.  Holla! She wants to know if you are down with “these milk and cookies” which I know many of yous out there answer with a resounding “Hells Yes”. 

Congrats to Ariana for knowing what she wants and isn’t afraid to broadcast it out there for all to see.  You are a special girl, just kinda fucked up what you did to that Pete Davidson guy.  Broke his heart and made him homeless in like an hour span.  You’re ruthless baby, but we wouldn’t change that for the world. 

https://youtu.be/El79WQpXyPQ

 

1. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

It’s a fucking classic, but Jesus (tis the reason for the season), why we gotta whore out Mommy like that? Ya think mommy is a single mommy, but nope, the kid is gonna tell dad.  I don’t think daddy would laugh about it, especially not in the 50’s. And think how many women Santa has on his list for the night?  Lotta cookies and kissing.  Guy gonna get fat and sick AF.  

I just don’t like seeing women be portrayed as whores like this.  Especially with a fly-by-night fat guy (which we in the 108 kinda respect), but ya know.  I’ve never met the real Santa, maybe he’s suave as fuck, but you’d think it’d get around that he’s whoring at an all time high level on multiple continents.   

I know girls like the bad guys, but damn ladies, if you are married and the guy is presumably out working his ass off to provide for the family the least you can do is NOT make out with a fat bearded guy who hangs out with elves and is MARRIED himself! Have some fucking respect.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilLT-ge6Luo

Got one that I missed?  Tweet that shit at me. 

-MSS