Comedians Draft

Last night on the podcast, we decided to do a snake draft of our favorite comedians. I put the list below, but if you want to take in the entire draft and our thoughts on who was left out, check it out here:

The Results

Chorizy:
George Carlin
Richard Pryor
Bill Burr
Doug Stanhope

Beefloaf:
Eddie Murphy
Dave Chappelle
Rodney Dangerfield
Richard Jeni

MySoxSummer:
Sam Kinison
Chris Rock
Andrew Dice Clay
Lewis Black

This draft could have gone for days and we definitely recognize we missed a ton. In fact, we list off about 20 comedians we wanted to include. So go vote for which of us had the best draft and tell us who you would have chosen:

Drunk Talk: Martini Glasses Are Stupid

If you’ve paid attention to our blog/videos/podcast at all, you obviously know we love to drink.

You may have also noticed that I really enjoy bourbon and rye. I typically drink it neat. I like to say it’s because I buy higher end stuff for home, but honestly I am very lazy, so making a cocktail is out of the question.

However, when I am out and looking for a cocktail, I mostly stick to the classics: Old Fashioned (my favorite drink AND donut), Sazerac, and Manhattan. The last of these is unfortunately often served in a goddamn martini glass. I absolutely hate those glasses.

For the life of me, I cannot understand this glass. It’s possibly the worst design of anything ever. The delorean’s doors were a better idea than putting a plate on a stick and deciding it should be used for drinks. Not to mention, most drinks you put in this glass are 80-100% booze. What should you give to a drunk person? A very awkward drinking receptacle, so they can spill shit all over the place and probably break the glass.

Look, I get that you have these fantasies of looking all dope like James Bond with your martini glass. Unfortunately, you will look one of two ways with it: a pompous asshat or a stumbling dumbass drunk.

Give me a rocks glass and pour as much booze as you can into it.

-Chorizy-E

PS I have a martini glass tattoo

SoxFest After-Party Bold Predictions

If you couldn’t make it to the after-party or if you were there and just couldn’t hear these as we made ’em, here’s our bold predictions for 2019:

MySoxSummer
After starting a partnership with the Milk Council, Nick Madrigal will grow a few inches this season.

Just to shut Javi Baez the fuck up, Tim Anderson will have a career year at SS and for good measure Yoan Moncada will slay at 2nd Base.

Jace Fry will NOT be attacked on IG by his new girlfriend that he might or might not have given an STD to. Can confirm he was with a girl last night at Sox Prom. Everyone looked to what player it was, saw it was Fry, we all himmed and hawed.

Although we will tweet about it 1900 times, BeefLoaf and I will still NOT learn the kid and play dance in 2019.


Beefloaf
Lucas Giolito will overcome having Jordan Lazowski as his biggest fan and become the first White Sox pitcher since 2016 to pitch a complete game shutout.

Eloy Jimenez WILL NOT receive the most AL ROY votes on the White Sox in 2019, that honor will go to Luis Basabe as he rakes in the minors through mid-June and is called up to take over CF duties from Adam Engel, Basabe finishes with double digit HR’s and SB’s and surprises the entire American League.

Tim Anderson, after being called out by White Sox twitter and consulted by ex-teammate Tyler Saladino, channels his inner Billy Dee Williams and sprouts the most beautiful push broom mustachio you have ever seen to win the 2019 White Sox mustache title.

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Daniel Palka will leave spring training to join the Chicago mayoral race and WIN on his campaign promise to always be #108ing.

Yoan Moncada will not play 3b, he will not play CF, he will not pass go and collect $200, but he will however make good on his prospect status and post a 25 HR / 25 SB season.

Chorizy-E
Eloy Jimenez and Daniel Palka will combine for 69 home runs. Nice.

Jason Benetti will come to my home to record a FromThe108 Podcast with us. Possibly against his will.

My PED brother, Welington Castillo, will find a new connection and rack up 25 HR, 100 RBI, and 0 suspensions.

Ricky Renteria and Don Cooper will be suspended indefinitely after beating the shit out of Joe West.

Drunk Talk: Cans are better than bottles

As an avid drinker (drunkard), I buy my fair share of beer.  And this increases during baseball season.  Over time, I have found that I will always opt for cans over bottles when purchasing delicious beer.  It seems like a trivial difference, but let me explain my case.

Stackability

Unless you’re Dr Dre and Snoop Dogg, you cannot devote an entire fridge to 40s.  So you have to do what you can with the space you have.  When your enjoy Beldar Conehead style mass consumption of beer, this becomes a problem.  And this is the first area where cans really shine.  I can stack about twice as many cans in my fridge as I can bottles.  This goes for coolers as well.

Chillability

Much like it is anchorman and not anchorlady, it is also a scientific fact that beer gets cold quicker and holds its temp longer in aluminum than in a glass bottle.  Honestly, that might be bullshit, but I am pretty sure I saw that in a commercial once and I wholeheartedly believe it to this day.  Pro tip: add some cold water into your cooler full of ice and beer to chill those bad boys quicker.

Koozability

Along the same lines, keeping your drink at the temp you want can be aided by koozies.  Also, koozies are just awesome.  I love them and me and Quernzy have a whole drawer full of em.  And you know what, the ones for bottles just kind of suck.  I like the idea, but how many different drinking accessories do i need to carry?

Portability

Look, if you’re anything like me, you like to go to a tailgate every now and then.  Or maybe just a party at a friends house.  One thing I know is that carrying a shitload of bottles is awful.  Carrying cans is far preferable.

Smashability

Once you’ve had 60-80 beers at a tailgate, there is not so much room in the single garbage can provided to your area by the White Sox, so bottles are just a nuisance.  Instead, you can crush down your cans to nothing.  Also, if you drop em, you don’t have shards of glass everywhere.   Still a party foul, but safer for everyone.

Charitability

You can also give em to a homeless dude to recycle.  Here we are helping the homeless and saving Mother Earth, damn we’re good people.

Shotgunability

It’s not really my thing, but I know the kids these days like to shotgun a beer every now and again.  You can’t do that with a bottle.  You need to use a can.

And last, you can do this shit:

-Chorizy-E

The 5 – Blizzard Drinking

As the snow is falling and your will to leave the house is dwindling, you may need a drink or two to keep your spirits up. And there’s nothing like a warm drink on a cold day. If you’re like me, you’re not looking for an incredible amount of ingredients to make something fancy. You’re looking for just a few things thrown together to get your winter 108ing on.

Mexican Coffee

I know I typically talk up coffee and Bailey’s, but we’ll get to Bailey’s later. For this morning, we’re doing Mexican coffee. Now, you can look up recipes and there is like ice cream and sugar rims and all kinds of other shit. Look, you need 3 things to make this happen: coffee, tequila, and coffee liqueur (Kahlua or Patron XO Cafe will do). That’s it. You might be skeptical of tequila in coffee, but don’t knock it til you try it.

Hot Chocolate and Bailey’s

This is a bit sweet, so be prepared for that. But this is such a simple drink to put together and it never disappoints. If you want to do some weird shit like throwing an entire package of Peeps in there, go for it. It’s not my bag, but if you dig it, do it.

Cappuchata

I was super skeptical of this one. But someone left a bottle of Rumchata at my house after a party and what am I supposed to do, throw it away? Fuck that. I’ve seen some really involved ways of doing this drink, but we win’t doing that. Get yourself an espresso and throw some Rumchata in it. Ain’t too complicated and it is surprisingly good.

Hot Toddy

This drink is made a shitload of different ways, so really, do what you like. I’ve even made these with Malort, which was NOT good if you can believe it. However, my go to recipe is simple: black tea + honey + rye or bourbon. Some people replace the tea with hot water and lemon juice, some replace the bourbon with rum, and some people add a lemon wedge. Feel free to try any or all of that, but I’m gonna keep it basic.

Hot Cider

I am not a fan of hard cider, but I can get down with some hot cider with some booze in it. In fact, I only get down with it with booze. If you have a Keurig you can get some apple cider cups and then from there, it’s just add booze. I typically go with a spiced rum like Sailor Jerry or Captain Morgan.

So during this wonderful winter wonderland, grab a mug, and do some 108ing

-Chorizy-E

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