The One-Hitter Fan Shaming

This is the One-Hitter, don’t forget to exhale.

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I want to talk Fan Shaming.  As one of the drunk uncles of White Sox twitter I think it is occasionally my position to tell you where you are fucking up in life.  Remember, your uncle is not only the one who’d buy you beer behind your parents back or tell you about that time he ALMOST slept with Kathy Ireland or tell you about this cool bad from 15 years before you were born that you should totally get into, he’s also there to give you the real scoop when you fucking up….and some of you be fucking up.

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Fan Shaming is real and totally fucking uncalled for.  Fan Shaming also comes from every perspective imaginable and effects our whole big dysfunctional family called White Sox twitter.  So when you hit these twitter streets remember the following………….

As MySoxSummer always says, going to more games than the next person DOES NOT make you a better fan.

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If you are the type (like the 108ers) who go to a fair amount of game, be better about NOT waving your “going to lots of games” DONG in other fans faces.  It’s uncouth.  You are better than that.  We won’t stand for you doing it any longer.

You ain’t a real fan because you don’t remember X.

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GTFO, fanning shall be done on ones own individual terms and you shan’t be judging it (originally the 17th Commandment, and you don’t want to fuck with Moses on that shit).  Nothing makes us happier in the 108 then when we stumble upon people making their first journey to a baseball game in Chicago.  MySoxSummer and I were lucky enough to meet a couple from Oregon who were there with their 6 year old daughter enjoying their first game in Chicago.  It was a thrilling experience to talk with them and get to see the young lady’s reaction to the events.  It’s easy to forget how cool a baseball game is and what fun it can be when you get into your own shit.  Just losing yourself in a 9 inning story is fun and beautiful and sometimes exciting or soul crushing and we should cherish that and not ruin it for others.

Why are you still worrying about Machado?

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This is probably the nexus of the universe of White Sox fan shaming in my personal opinion.  IN THIS CORNER, we have the casual fan,

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who loves to go to the game and drink some brews and eat some hot dogs and yell at the opposing team and fans and cheer for home runs and fireworks.  They like players based on landmark events, like signing a ball for them or getting a big hit in the game they attended…..

and IN THIS CORNER, we have the fan that is deep into this team, analyzing its every move and trying to play arm-chair GM.

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They may or may not have the visceral experience when attending a game because they are worried about future service time concerns or available free agent budget 3 years from now.  GUESS WHAT!?!?  You can both be right and co-exist.  I want these two groups to go down to the Craft Cave together, do a shot of something that will make their lips pucker up and will force a groan outta their gullet.  This should make peace of the two groups and allow them to live happily ever after again.

So there you have it, some examples of how we can notice other fanning methods and be cool to each other.  I’ll be back to talk about welcoming Bandwagon Fans if the White Sox ever get good again.

-BeefLoaf

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