#FAKETRADES – Chorizy-E Predictions

Beefloaf has some bold predictions, but I think he’s a little off.  It’s also possible that Clarence Beeks came through for him and got him Rick Hahn’s report a day early.

Todd Frazier to the Angels for Michael Hermosillo OF

The Angels are already rocking an over-inflated budget of over 165 million, so taking on a what’s left on Frazier’s contract seems reasonable.  This would allow them to deal a lower ranked prospect.  For the Angels, this could be an opportunity to move Yunel Escobar to 2b and sit down Danny Espinosa.  Or they could use Frazier at 1b and sit down Valbuena when you want Albert to DH.  Either way, they scrape some of the crap off the field and look a little more like a team that can get a wild card spot.  Not sure what Hermosillo would become for the Sox, but he seems similar to the players they’ve been going after the past few years: good control at the plate, walks a lot, sees a lot of pitches.

David Robertson to the Arizona Diamondbacks for Socrates Brito OF and Matt Koch RHP

With Robertson, a lot of the focus is on him as a closer and where a closer is needed.  However, as we saw last year in the playoffs, there is a huge need for a high leverage guy before the 9th.  Robertson was that guy for a good portion of his career and could be that on a contending team.  I know their bullpen has looked good so far, but look at the guys playing well and then look at their career numbers.  How long is that gonna last.  Speaking of which, how long is Fernando Rodney going to be your closer.  He’s 137 years old.  You also keep Robertson away from the Nationals who you may very well face in the playoffs.  In return, the Sox will get a player that it seems the D’Backs have soured on, but still has potential.  As a throw in to the deal, the Sox will get a pitcher that is all about control and should fit right into the bullpen.  This is really just me hoping Ricky will give the ball to someone other than Chris Beck once in a while.  My arm hurts just thinking about how often Beck has to pitch.

Jose Quintana and Melky Cabrera to the Colorado Rockies for Raimel Tapia OF, Ryan McMahon 3B, Ben Bowden LHP, Yency Almonte RHP, Brian Mundell 1B, and Sam Hilliard OF

There is really no need to sell the Q part of this trade.  Every team needs him and the Rox are no exception.  But on to the Melky portion.  The outfield is seemingly crowded in Colorado, but in reality, they’ve been plagued by injuries.  Blackmon is great and healthy, but the corners have been a problem.  Not to mention, if everyone is healthy, someone should give Mark Reynolds a break at 1b every once in a while.  I mean, the guy is about to turn 34 and you’ve already made him play 80 games this season.  NL teams also pinch hit far more, so Melky’s switch hitting bat off the bench makes a lot of sense.  It’s only 62 PA, but Melky has hit pretty well in Colorado: .377/.452/.736.  As for the return, this is a lot about quantity over quality and the Rox taking on the rest of Melky’s contract.  Not to say we’re not getting some of their top prospects in return, but we’re not getting Brendan Rodgers or Riley Pint.  Tapia is the highest ranked prospect and is major league ready.  McMahon, Mundell, and Hilliard all have a chance to be big league power hitters.  McMahon makes tons of errors, so he’ll fit in with Anderson on the left side of the infield nicely.  Bowden sounds like he can be a high end reliever and comes from a great pitching program at Vandy.  Last is Yency Almonte who we would be getting back.  He was the pitcher we sent to the Rox to get Tommy Kahnle.  This would be a massive trade and would thin the Rockies system, but it could be what propels them into the playoffs.


#FAKETRADES – Beefloaf Predictions

The stroke of 4th of July means trade season in MLB and with everyone else suspecting where players are going, we just couldn’t resist.  I am doing this in the manner in which the old Bulls beat reporter Sam Smith would write these up, full trade, fully fictional, but also FUN.  With that, let’s take a look at what your buddy BeefLoaf believes our fearless leader Rick Hahn will do before the dust settles on 2017 trade season.  Remember, these are for entertainment purposes, unless I get one right, then I will gloat and throw my substantial weight around.
Todd Frazier plus Cash Considerations to the Tampa Rays for Joe McCarthy 1b/of
The Rays tend to trade for anything that is a deal and could be a minor upgrade, see their recent trade for Adeiny Hechavarria, or any of their trades over the last decade.  With the Rays very much in this playoff hunt (according to Baseball Prospectus playoff odds, they are about 36.7% to make it) they’ll toss our Sox a low end prospect (one that controls the strike zone well) and they won’t need to use Rickie Weeks (yuck!) in the light side of the 1b platoon with Logan Morrison.  Truthfully, I almost threw the Dodgers in here because Andrew Friedman (former Rays GM, current Dodgers Prez-O-Dent of all shit that includes baseball) is the OG when it comes to taking more value for less value.  It wouldn’t shock me if it turned out that way, but I just much more easily see Frazier in a Rays uni than a Dodgers.
Melky Cabrera to the Kansas City Royals for Andrew Edwards RHP
The Royals aren’t a very good team, but like Jake Taylor the fictional character in the 1989 movie Major League, played by the handsome Tom Berenger, this is their last shot at a winner.  The Royals need everything, starting pitching, relief pitching, bats, new manager, etc. but they really can’t afford much more than Melky Cabrera.   Melky wouldn’t necessarily have a regular position on the Royals, so he’d be the primary DH down the stretch (Brandon Moss has been horrible, Jorge Soler has been horrible) and he’d possibly mix in in LF (Alex Gordon has been horrible).  The Sox get a guy who is large 6’5″ 265 and has a big fastball, but little else.  If he pans out, he’s another bullpen arm the Sox can overuse and send straight to Dr. James Andrews.
Anthony Swarzak to the Seattle Mariners for Rob Whalen RHP
The Mariners are desperate for pitching of all sorts, but don’t have the system to get a high end starter, so they’ll have to settle for a good bullpen arm.  Anthony Swarzak is their 8th inning guy…..TOMORROW…….  For the Sox, Whalen is another starting pitcher who throws sinkers and fits in with the Sox “type” of starting pitcher, you know, the ones that aren’t big prospects, but they might throw enough strikes to start for awhile in the majors.  It’s Anthony Swarzak, wtf you think you getting back for him?  I almost had the Sox getting back Cash Considerations, given the recent outlays and all the tricks JR has been playing with rain delays and concessions, but I decided that Jerry DiPoto would rather part with players.  FYI, this would be Jerry DiPoto’s 87th trade of the 2017 season.
Yolmer Sanchez to the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim or whatever the fuck they are calling theyselfs these days for David Fletcher SS
I’m actually sort of kind of stealing this idea ($1 SouthSideSox) as Yolmer is a great fit for a team that can’t afford to buy anything pricey, but needs to replace the corpse that used to be Danny Espinosa at 2b.  The Angels aren’t much of a team, but they are a team that is fighting for their playoff lives and luckily get Mike Trout back in a few weeks.  This is a lottery ticket shot for them, it is their best shot to make the playoffs in a few years and they’ll need some stuff to go right in the 2nd half to make it, so filling out the rest of the lineup with cheap talent wherever possible would seem a necessity.  For the White Sox Yolmer is a triumph of international development as they signed him as a 17 year old and now he’s a productive major league regular.  Yolmer is also highly redundant on a team that is going to be using Yoan Moncada at 2b in the next few weeks so it is best to grab value where they can for him.  Sox get another hitter that controls the strike zone, albeit one with limited upside.  I read something about David Eckstein in Mr. Fletcher’s comps……you’d certainly take a .345 career OBP from your utility man, now wouldn’t you?
Now, on to the FUN trades!!!!
David Robertson to the Texas Rangers for Leody Taveras OF and Connor Sadzeck RHP
The Rangers are definitely in their competitive window and can utilize Robertson next year for the final year of his contract.  I know, I know, all 6 of you that are reading this are thinking, what about the fucking Nationals??  Mike Rizzo is a studio gangster and won’t get this deal pulled off, so let’s forget about him.  The Rangers are desperate for a dependable back end of the bullpen arm.  They have already had to dispose of the carcass of Sam Dyson and they tried former #1 overall pick Matt Bush, but let’s face it, they need a real closer for this year and next.  Sure the Rangers are looking up at a big deficit for the division in 2017, but they are still right in the wild card race and they will be in the thick of things again in 2018 and Robertson will be under the final year of his deal.  On to the Sox….filed under the “let me know where you have heard this before” section, the Sox get a TOOLSY OF who is years away from the majors but with high upside AND a big armed righty that throws hard and has little clue where the ball is going.  It’s a perfect haul for the Sox and they don’t need to throw in any money, so it makes ownership happy, happy, happy.
Jose Quintana to the Milwaukee Brewers for Lewis Brinson OF, Trent Clark OF and Marcos Diplan RHP
The Brewers are a good team much faster than anticipated and with the Cubs taking a shit on theyselfs now is the best time for the Brewers to deal from their prospect riches and turn them into a front line starter, which is easily their biggest need.  Q gives them years of control during their competitive window and an anchor to their pitching staff.  Pairing him with Jimmy Nelson and Zach Davies, the Brewers would have a legit playoff rotation.  I just can’t see a reason why they wouldn’t do something like this, it fits them perfectly.  The Sox are getting the Brewers #1 prospect Lewis Brinson, who can play CF for them tomorrow morning.  He’s a toolsy CF who can definitely play high end defense at the position, but has some questions about the bat.  He’s not without risk, but if he pans out he’s a perennial all-star.  Clark is another big OF prospect, just much further from the majors.  Diplan fills out the deal as another good live arm for the system.  The folks at BP tend to think he’s a future closer, but I’m sure the Sox would continue to look at this kid as a starter until further notice, fuck, I mean, Carson Fulmer is still taking the ball every 5th day and most of the western world knows his ceiling is 8th inning guy.
Those are my predictions on future trades, what say you, White Sox fans?
– BeefLoaf

The Week/End (7 Gamer) Round Up!

Happy 4th of July Fam! The 4th of July was a huge day for me back in the day when I spent 7 years in Huntington Beach, Ca.  That town loses it’s shit during this holiday.  909’ers descend to the beach and it’s MMA shirts as far as the eye can see. The most memorable involved me drinking way too much, eating some hot wings that had been left out in the sun, and, well the afterparty at a bar was interesting.  I took “puke and rally” to heart and made it happen.  Let freedom ring!

So our White Sox just finished a 10 game home stand (which ‘Loaf got the 1st 3 games last week) so here is my/our review of the last 7 home games.  Ladies and gents I give you –



Yankees Series

As we posted on Twitter several times, the Yanks fans were out in full force.  I went down on Monday to get my ticket and was informed that all $7 seats were gone.  Huh, hours earlier there were hundreds left.  Interesting, I wanna call BS on the Sox selling all the tickets, but because no one sits in the $7 seats, it was hard to tell if they were all sold out.  So I sat up in the 108 for $20.  We later moved as the 108 was full and I needed my space.  I will say it again, THIS TEAM DON’T QUIT.  A rally in the 9th fell short and we lost.  But it was a good L, if those even exist.

Tuesday night, my version of Sophie’s Choice happened.  I got an email that HOF #35 The Big Hurt Frank Thomas would be doing a talk in the media room, so #Wallymoney and myself decided to go.  THEN our good friends at Baderbrau decided to have a tailgate with FREE BEER. What to do?  What to do! I honored my original commitment and went to talk to Frank, which was awesome.  ‘Loaf and Chorizy held it down with our friends from Baderbrau crushing beers and eating brats.  Once inside, we had 3 beers, which is a really good for us, even on a Tuesday.

So let me say something here, if you are a visiting fan in a ballpark, and you decide that you are gonna talk shit all game, be prepared to get some back when in the 9th Jose Abreu pisses all over your celebration.  We had a family of Yanks fans that decided they (mostly the homely father) would start telling people good bye when they left early in the 7th or 8th.  So when Jose Abreu won the game with a 2 run single, I made sure to tell him how great of a game it was.  He responded with a “White Sox Suck!” or some shit, which is funny cause our sucky team JUST BEAT YOUR TEAM.  Don’t think that plays the way you want douche.  ‘Loaf asked a Cubs/ Yanks fan how he liked the game on the way out which I am sure also went swimmingly.

Wednesday night I got the message from the boys that it might rain so they took the night off.  I had already bought tix, so I went out to the park.  Not much rain till the end of the game but by that time, the Sox were getting smoked.  Not much to report from that game besides Judge smoking a homer and tons of fights. But he’s half ogre and there were a bunch of assholes there so ya know…..


Thursday night was a big one.  It was superhero night and I had never seen a more pathetic assembly of random ass superhero’s in my life.  Flash was there. Fucking Flash.  Catwoman looked like she was a furry, so yeah.  I picked up a great bobblehead so that was cool.


So, the game was delayed, like for a long time.  During this time I had a bunch of experiences.  1st – we learned that the White Sox were making Tyler Saladino mustache t-shirts.  I spoke with someone from the organization about it, she said they read some stuff on the internet and decided to make them.  Oh I wonder what that was?  #southsidestachemen We’d like our cut Rick!

This was also the first night the Sox decided to decrease the free DD drink from 24oz to 12oz.  That really sucks as now you get 3 swallows of pop.  Bummer. During the long ass delay, we made our way to the ramps to cool off.  We ran into some of our fans and our conversation quickly turned to my experiences at Erotica LA.

Thursday was also free t-shirt day so we all got a new shirt to wear.  Well, not me cause an XL is a little snug.  But while we were on the ramp and lady walked by and her shirt fell on the ground. All 3 of us yelled, “You dropped your shirt!” while ‘Loaf walked over to pick it up. She gave us a look like she was offended and then realize that what we had said.  She thought we asked her to “Drop your shirt!” but she was really overvaluing how much we wanted to see that.  I mean, we would have, but we aren’t gonna ask for it.  So no, we ain’t scum, to women anyways.

So about 9pm, Chorizy and his lady Quernzy rolled out.  Right before the game started, ‘Loaf headed home. So I watched the game with #BobbleheadJim and #WallyMoney.  We sat by home plate and were invited to join the “lucky row” and we won free pizza!  It was sweet.  Much to #WallyMoney’s chagrin all the pizza stands were closed, so no pizza that night.  We left right before Leche robbed the ogre of a homerun.  Sox won, so right on, splitting a series with them was great.

Texas is the Reason (that we got drunk).

Friday nights are arguably the drunkest we get all weekend.  This past Friday was no different.  We started on ‘Loafs patio and waited till about the 3rd to walk over to the game.  Slamming beers, talking about life, but mostly drinking heavily.  We got to the game, walk around back and decided that we’d hit the patio.  Which was DEAD, but we have a friend of the 108 that works there so if we are gonna give someone money, mine as well be a friend.  We drank a plenty $11 24oz Pacificos, and ate some fried food baskets.  They have a $10 basket down there with cheese sticks, mushrooms and onion rings.  Great deal, but they only give you 2 cheese sticks.  I thought it was the beer, but nope, they really skimp on the cheese sticks.  Slumpbuster burned the shit outta his mouth on a mushroom, wasn’t the first time.  Thanks for the grub Slumpbuster.  #WallyMoney wasn’t drinking, being all responsible for his trip the following day, but he left way later than expected so he could have got 108’ed like the rest of us.

Before we rolled up to the seats, in the 7th, there was a magic cart that was rolled into the patio.  $2 cheeseburgers and hot dogs.  Say what?  So we ate a few cheeseburgers.  That was great and slowed my buzz down a little so I could walk.  We made the seats in the 7th, missing last call, but that wasn’t an issue.  We were hammered.  Lordy.  Talks the following day confirmed that I wasn’t the only hammered one, which made me feel better.  Sox won with a walk off and we celebrated like we just found a free pizza.

Saturday I hosted the fellas and it was great.  New deck, grilled meats (homemade jalapeno cheddar burgers by Mrs. MSS), Hot game, pretty awful game actually, but fun times all around.


Sunday back at ‘Loafs to pregame.  We had quite the crew, including all the ‘Loafs, Chorizy’s and The Wheelers.  We found out that our good buddy Sam was friends with our beer vendor Brian, which we thought made sense as we are all good drinkers.  Yolmer smoked a homer so we won.  It was dope.  What wasn’t dope was Ronnie Woo Woo’s stanky ass walking the crowd looking for tips while taking pics.  Cubs, let this guy back in. He might be able to make you guys kinda good again.  He clearly is a baseball junkie, but go back north yo.  We don’t want that Cub suck in our park.



It was a great week/end with the fellas, but my liver needs a few days off AFTER today.  Today it’s game on as usual.  So rock out today and celebrate being an American where our president posts videos of himself beating up CNN on Twitter.  Great time to be alive right?  RIGHT!  I will be ready with my hose incase an ember from a bottle rocket decides to land on my BRAND NEW DECK OR ROOF.

Cheers fam!  Drink up and be safe.  Don’t wanna end up like Carlos May, missing a digit.