Happy 4th of July Fam! The 4th of July was a huge day for me back in the day when I spent 7 years in Huntington Beach, Ca.  That town loses it’s shit during this holiday.  909’ers descend to the beach and it’s MMA shirts as far as the eye can see. The most memorable involved me drinking way too much, eating some hot wings that had been left out in the sun, and, well the afterparty at a bar was interesting.  I took “puke and rally” to heart and made it happen.  Let freedom ring!

So our White Sox just finished a 10 game home stand (which ‘Loaf got the 1st 3 games last week) so here is my/our review of the last 7 home games.  Ladies and gents I give you –

Yankees Series

As we posted on Twitter several times, the Yanks fans were out in full force.  I went down on Monday to get my ticket and was informed that all $7 seats were gone.  Huh, hours earlier there were hundreds left.  Interesting, I wanna call BS on the Sox selling all the tickets, but because no one sits in the $7 seats, it was hard to tell if they were all sold out.  So I sat up in the 108 for $20.  We later moved as the 108 was full and I needed my space.  I will say it again, THIS TEAM DON’T QUIT.  A rally in the 9th fell short and we lost.  But it was a good L, if those even exist.

Tuesday night, my version of Sophie’s Choice happened.  I got an email that HOF #35 The Big Hurt Frank Thomas would be doing a talk in the media room, so #Wallymoney and myself decided to go.  THEN our good friends at Baderbrau decided to have a tailgate with FREE BEER. What to do?  What to do! I honored my original commitment and went to talk to Frank, which was awesome.  ‘Loaf and Chorizy held it down with our friends from Baderbrau crushing beers and eating brats.  Once inside, we had 3 beers, which is a really good for us, even on a Tuesday.

So let me say something here, if you are a visiting fan in a ballpark, and you decide that you are gonna talk shit all game, be prepared to get some back when in the 9th Jose Abreu pisses all over your celebration.  We had a family of Yanks fans that decided they (mostly the homely father) would start telling people good bye when they left early in the 7th or 8th.  So when Jose Abreu won the game with a 2 run single, I made sure to tell him how great of a game it was.  He responded with a “White Sox Suck!” or some shit, which is funny cause our sucky team JUST BEAT YOUR TEAM.  Don’t think that plays the way you want douche.  ‘Loaf asked a Cubs/ Yanks fan how he liked the game on the way out which I am sure also went swimmingly.

Wednesday night I got the message from the boys that it might rain so they took the night off.  I had already bought tix, so I went out to the park.  Not much rain till the end of the game but by that time, the Sox were getting smoked.  Not much to report from that game besides Judge smoking a homer and tons of fights. But he’s half ogre and there were a bunch of assholes there so ya know…..

Thursday night was a big one.  It was superhero night and I had never seen a more pathetic assembly of random ass superhero’s in my life.  Flash was there. Fucking Flash.  Catwoman looked like she was a furry, so yeah.  I picked up a great bobblehead so that was cool.

So, the game was delayed, like for a long time.  During this time I had a bunch of experiences.  1st – we learned that the White Sox were making Tyler Saladino mustache t-shirts.  I spoke with someone from the organization about it, she said they read some stuff on the internet and decided to make them.  Oh I wonder what that was?  #southsidestachemen We’d like our cut Rick!

This was also the first night the Sox decided to decrease the free DD drink from 24oz to 12oz.  That really sucks as now you get 3 swallows of pop.  Bummer. During the long ass delay, we made our way to the ramps to cool off.  We ran into some of our fans and our conversation quickly turned to my experiences at Erotica LA.

Thursday was also free t-shirt day so we all got a new shirt to wear.  Well, not me cause an XL is a little snug.  But while we were on the ramp and lady walked by and her shirt fell on the ground. All 3 of us yelled, “You dropped your shirt!” while ‘Loaf walked over to pick it up. She gave us a look like she was offended and then realize that what we had said.  She thought we asked her to “Drop your shirt!” but she was really overvaluing how much we wanted to see that.  I mean, we would have, but we aren’t gonna ask for it.  So no, we ain’t scum, to women anyways.

So about 9pm, Chorizy and his lady Quernzy rolled out.  Right before the game started, ‘Loaf headed home. So I watched the game with #BobbleheadJim and #WallyMoney.  We sat by home plate and were invited to join the “lucky row” and we won free pizza!  It was sweet.  Much to #WallyMoney’s chagrin all the pizza stands were closed, so no pizza that night.  We left right before Leche robbed the ogre of a homerun.  Sox won, so right on, splitting a series with them was great.

Texas is the Reason (that we got drunk).

Friday nights are arguably the drunkest we get all weekend.  This past Friday was no different.  We started on ‘Loafs patio and waited till about the 3rd to walk over to the game.  Slamming beers, talking about life, but mostly drinking heavily.  We got to the game, walk around back and decided that we’d hit the patio.  Which was DEAD, but we have a friend of the 108 that works there so if we are gonna give someone money, mine as well be a friend.  We drank a plenty $11 24oz Pacificos, and ate some fried food baskets.  They have a $10 basket down there with cheese sticks, mushrooms and onion rings.  Great deal, but they only give you 2 cheese sticks.  I thought it was the beer, but nope, they really skimp on the cheese sticks.  Slumpbuster burned the shit outta his mouth on a mushroom, wasn’t the first time.  Thanks for the grub Slumpbuster.  #WallyMoney wasn’t drinking, being all responsible for his trip the following day, but he left way later than expected so he could have got 108’ed like the rest of us.

Before we rolled up to the seats, in the 7th, there was a magic cart that was rolled into the patio.  $2 cheeseburgers and hot dogs.  Say what?  So we ate a few cheeseburgers.  That was great and slowed my buzz down a little so I could walk.  We made the seats in the 7th, missing last call, but that wasn’t an issue.  We were hammered.  Lordy.  Talks the following day confirmed that I wasn’t the only hammered one, which made me feel better.  Sox won with a walk off and we celebrated like we just found a free pizza.

Saturday I hosted the fellas and it was great.  New deck, grilled meats (homemade jalapeno cheddar burgers by Mrs. MSS), Hot game, pretty awful game actually, but fun times all around.

Sunday back at ‘Loafs to pregame.  We had quite the crew, including all the ‘Loafs, Chorizy’s and The Wheelers.  We found out that our good buddy Sam was friends with our beer vendor Brian, which we thought made sense as we are all good drinkers.  Yolmer smoked a homer so we won.  It was dope.  What wasn’t dope was Ronnie Woo Woo’s stanky ass walking the crowd looking for tips while taking pics.  Cubs, let this guy back in. He might be able to make you guys kinda good again.  He clearly is a baseball junkie, but go back north yo.  We don’t want that Cub suck in our park.

It was a great week/end with the fellas, but my liver needs a few days off AFTER today.  Today it’s game on as usual.  So rock out today and celebrate being an American where our president posts videos of himself beating up CNN on Twitter.  Great time to be alive right?  RIGHT!  I will be ready with my hose incase an ember from a bottle rocket decides to land on my BRAND NEW DECK OR ROOF.

Cheers fam!  Drink up and be safe.  Don’t wanna end up like Carlos May, missing a digit.

-MSS